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Sleeping Late Today

It is now 10:48 and Kate is still sleeping soundly. She got up around 9:30 to go to the bathroom but went back to bed. This is really highly unusual although she did sleep this late sometimes in the past few weeks. It could be that this is related to her cold although both our colds have been very mild. They have not interfered with any of our usual activity. It was a beautiful day yesterday, and she worked outside for more than two hours at one stretch. As with many other behaviors, it is not easy to explain each one; however, I am always trying to see any signs of a pattern than may be developing. If she is not awake by 11:00, I will wake her up for lunch. The sitter is scheduled for 1:00; so we won’t have as much time as I would like.

While she has been in bed, I have accomplished a number of things that I should have done before. I wrote two thank you letters, one to the Session of our church, the other to the man who wrote the resolution they had presented to me a couple of weeks ago. I also made hotel reservations in Lubbock for Christmas.

Since shortly after Kate’s retirement from her last school in 1990, a group of teachers with January birthdays has gotten together in January of each year to celebrate. This hasn’t happened the past two years, and I wanted to get them together one more time while Kate can still enjoy it. This morning I called one of them who has organized the event each year to see about our doing it this year. He had been thinking the same thing; so we are going to pick a date and then check with everyone else to see if it works. This was a special group to Kate. I want her to get together with them one more time.

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Sleeping More and Another New Sitter

Kate is still sleeping this morning. That is two days in a row that she has slept this late. Her sleeping patterns are erratic at times. Two or three years ago (I can’t really recall how long), she was sleeping or resting more than she does now. For the most part, she has been on a fairly regular sleeping schedule in the past year or so. Before that, I can recall that she slept a long time at night and also rested a good bit during the day. I don’t know what prompted the change, but she started getting up earlier. For quite some time now, we have been getting to Panera between 9:30 and 10:30. On Sunday, we were there before 9:00. She doesn’t nap much at all any more.

Tomorrow morning, she has a routine doctor’s appointment at 9:00 a.m. I hope that is not too much of a challenge. I don’t typically schedule anything that early. That must have been the only available time.

Today we have another new sitter. The one who came last week, and who is supposed to be our permanent sitter on Wednesday and Friday, cannot be here. That means the fourth sitter in 3 weeks. I suspect this may not be a problem for Kate because she is unlikely to remember the previous one. It is more of a problem for me. Each time we have a new person I experience a little anxiety over how Kate will relate to her and the fact that I will have to leave so quickly after the new person arrives. So far everything has worked out well. This whole process of leaving her is still new to me. I know I will adjust to it. I think that will be easier when we start having the same person or people on a regular basis.

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Very Good Night’s Sleep

It is now 10:30 a.m. Kate is sleeping soundly. She got in bed last night before 10:00 and went to sleep quickly. She did awaken when I got in bed closer to 11:00. She was up around around 8:45 and took a shower. After the shower, she returned to bed. I waited on her for a while so that we could both go down to breakfast at our hotel. She was sleeping so well that I finally went down to breakfast on my own. When I returned, she was dressed but back in bed asleep. Check out time is noon; so I am going to let her sleep a while longer.

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Thoughts in the night

Kate and I are in Asheville at the Haywood Park Hotel where we are celebrating our 54th anniversary . We drove in yesterday about 11:30 and had a nice lunch. Then we came back to the room for a couple of hours before taking a stroll around the downtown area where we visited a couple of bookstores.

It is 3:00 a.m. I woke up almost 45 minutes ago and haven’t been able to go back to sleep. I had forgotten to leave a light on before going to bed last night. I got up and turned the light on in the bathroom. That gave me quite a jolt imagining how Kate would have felt if she had waked up in a strange dark room.

It’s not that there have been any dramatic changes in her condition, but she continues to decline little by little. She has displayed more signs of confusion lately. Each time she does something unusual it reminds me that even I begin to believe she is doing better than she is.

This is not the first time that I have waked up in the middle of the night and let my thoughts wander thinking about her and how we will handle the future. I have something of a panicked feeling thinking about leaving her alone when I go to various meetings. I really need to make contact with an in-home service soon. I still plan to utilize the services of our housekeeper at the start. Recently I asked her to come on a Monday when I had a Rotary meeting. She has two Mondays a month when she could do this for me. That is the only regular meeting that I feel I must continue. I can skirt around the others for church, United Way, and the foundation.

I am going to stop now. I will continue my thoughts tomorrow. Right now I want to try to get some sleep.

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Home Again

We arrived home around 10:00 last night. Although we had had a wonderful time at Chautauqua, it was good to be back in our own quarters again. It is only when you are away from home for a while that you realize how accustomed you have become to all the little things that you like about home. For me, that involves something as insignificant as the soap we use in the shower. Of course, the amount of space we have at home is so much greater than anything we have ever had at Chautauqua. We definitely don’t go there for the lodging even though this year’s apartment was the very best we have ever had there.

When we came inside I didn’t pay any attention to Kate. I was focused on getting the luggage inside. When I finished, I noticed that she was walking slowly around the house. I asked, “Are you glad to be home?” She said something like, “What’s going on? Are we going to stay here?” I asked her if she thought something was wrong. She said, “No, I don’t know what I was thinking.” I don’t know either. I have to believe she remembered that this is our home. We had just been talking about going home. All I can say is that she does have periodic moments when she finds things confusing. This was one of them.

It was almost midnight before I got into bed. She had been working puzzles on her iPad in bed until about 10 minutes before I joined her. That is much later than we normally get to bed. This morning she was very tired. She got up around 8:30 and ate some yogurt. A short time later she went back to bed. I got her up close to 11:00 for lunch. When we came home, she worked on her iPad for a while. She is now in bed again. I am going to the store soon and will let her sleep. I suspect she will get up before time for dinner and hope that she is able to get to sleep earlier this evening.

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An Early Start

As far back as I can remember, I have been a morning person. For quite a number of years that has meant getting up at 5:00 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays when I go t the Y. Over the past year or so it has meant occasionally waking up as early as 3:00 or 4:00 and not being able to get back to sleep. Over the past few days I have been sleeping until 6:00 or 6:30. This morning I wanted to sleep until that same time, but I was awake about 4:15 and couldn’t sleep. I believe this sleep problem is associated with Kate. Her behavior over the past few days has been troubling. When I woke up this morning, all sorts of things were running through my mind. Even something that seems far removed from Kate like getting my driver’s license renewed occupied my mind. My current license expires on my birthday, June 17. I could have renewed it before now, but I haven’t gotten around to it. Things like this that are not urgent get put on the back burner as I focus on care for Kate. This morning I was concerned about leaving her by herself while I go to the renewal office. That is actually a silly thing to worry about. I go to a variety of meetings, and just yesterday, I attended two funerals. I am, however, getting more concerned about leaving her alone. Given the shortness of her memory, I worry that she will forget where I am and be worried about me or need something from me

Yesterday Kate was extremely tired. She was so sleepy at the Shepherd’s Center that she wanted to leave after our first class. She was in bed resting most of the day except for the time we went to lunch. She finally got up just before I returned home from the second funeral at 6:30. She normally gets a good bit of rest, but this time she seemed especially tired. I can’t help but wonder if the trip to Asheville wore her out. That makes me concerned about our upcoming trip to Texas a week from tomorrow.

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Feeling Sleepy

Several times recently Kate has mentioned being sleepy. This happened again today. As she has done the past few times this has come up, she had been trying not to get in bed and rest. The unusual thing about this is not that she feels sleepy; it is that she has been napping for several years when she feels this way. Now it seems as though she shouldn’t being do it. Today and yesterday, I suggested she take a nap when she complained of being so sleepy. Then she very willingly got into bed to rest.

Today she got up about 30 minutes after getting into bed. She walked into the kitchen looking a little tired and forlorn. When she got sleepy at Panera this morning, she walked around the outside of the restaurant. At that time I said walking around was a good thing and that sometime we should do that on our block. I was careful to let her know that I didn’t mean “taking a walk.” That is something she strongly resists.

So when she came into the kitchen, I suggested we walk down the block. She accepted, and we ended up walking around the block. That is further than I expected she would go. I achieved this in stages. When we got to the end of our street, I told her she could choose whether to walk directly back to our house or walk around the block. She chose the latter. This is something I would like to make a habit.

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Still Tired

We had a nice trip home from Memphis yesterday. It was a full day. We stopped for lunch at a Cracker Barrel west of Nashville. Then we stopped in Nashville to visit with Ellen for a couple of hours. While Kate and Ellen were talking I ran over to the Courtyard Inn where we had stayed last Friday night. I had left my backpack with camera and supply of medications. I also neglected to clean out the closet. I left my belt as well as a sweater set and khaki slacks of Kate’s. As we came into Knoxville, we stopped for dinner. It was just about 7:30 when we got home, 11 hours after leaving Jesse’s house. Kate stayed awake the entire time. She often closes her eyes even if she doesn’t sleep. This time her eyes were awake the whole time.

Today she has been quite tired. This is the day for us to attend the Shepherd’s Center. Our first class begins at 9:00. Kate had gotten up as I came back from a morning walk. She had a glass of apple juice with her medications. Then she went back to bed. At 8:00 am, I went in to let her know we would need to leave in 45 minutes. She was quite groggy. I asked her if she still wanted to go. She did and got up. She came into the kitchen and got some yogurt. Then she went back to her room to get ready. I checked on her at 8:30. She wasn’t ready. She got a little irritated that I was rushing her. I backed off and decided to let her take her time. A few minutes before 9:30, she came into the kitchen where I was working on my computer. I asked if she were ready. She nodded that she was. Knowing that the Holocaust class had started at 9:00 and that it would take 15 minutes for us to get there, I told her the Holocaust class had already begun but that we could take a few minutes to stop by Panera and get a muffin. Then we could catch the other two classes. She was disappointed and said, “That’s the class I really wanted to go to. Was it my fault?” I looked at her. Before I could say anything, she said, “Why didn’t you make me get ready?” I told her I had tried.

We went to Panera and she seemed all right except that she seemed very tired. We sat in on the first class and then went to the second one on classic movies. When we arrived the teacher was not there. We took a seat. A gentleman who had been in the previous class with us sat next to her. I started a conversation with him. Kate got up and left the room. I assumed she was going to the rest room. Shortly after that, the teacher arrived and set up the DVD. Then she started the movie. I got up to check on Kate who hadn’t returned. I looked around in the hallway outside our classroom but didn’t see her. I walked down the hall and found her in a room that had a variety of books and other things. I told her the class was beginning. She came along with me. We went back to our seats. During the class, she appeared to be bored. She was looking around the room most of the time. We were watching The Americanization of Emily starring James Garner and Julie Andrews. We had watched part of it last week. At one point when Julie Andrews appeared on the screen she said, “She reminds me so much of Julie Andrews.” I told her it was Julie. She said, “I thought so.” I tried to imagine what was going through her mind as we watched the film. It must be so mystifying not to be able to follow what’s going on, what the teacher is saying, etc. She is working so hard understand the world around her.

As we were walking to the car, she said, “I really like old movies.” It was obvious that she derived some element of pleasure even though she didn’t understand much of what was happening.

On the way to lunch she closed her eyes. She looked very tired. When we sat down at a booth at the restaurant, she closed her eyes again and leaned her head on her hand with her elbow on the table. She looked so forlorn.

When we left the restaurant, I told her I would take her to Lowe’s. She was pleased. Then we got a call from an electrician who was coming out to the house to fix a light in Kate’s closet; so we went home. I told her I would take her after the electrician left. When he was finished, she was in bed resting. I asked her about Lowe’s. She said she would like to go later. That was over an hour ago. She is still resting.

This makes me think that the trip demanded more of her than I thought. I’ve heard many older people say it takes a while to rest up after their children leave or after a trip. Perhaps this is what Kate is experiencing. Life just wears her out.

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Sunday Morning Sleep

Kate got up briefly around 8:30. She got some yogurt and apple juice. Then she went back to bed while I was preparing to leave for church. I planned to encourage her to be ready for lunch when I returned. Then I have changed my mind. I thought it best to let her rest and see if she was up when I get home. Yesterday I had to get her up for lunch around 11:35. I called her from church at 11:15. She was still in bed. I told her I was on the way home and that I was planning for us to go to lunch. She was almost ready when I arrived home. Everything went fine.

We have a wedding reception for our next door neighbor and his new bride at 2:00. She will definitely want to attend. It is good that we don’t have a specific deadline; so if we get there at 2:30 or a little after, we will be fine. It ends at 4:00.

I am going to start my periodic letter to Dr. Reasoner today or tomorrow. In particular, I want to ask about Kate‘’s medications. They might have something to do with her recent lethargy. I also want to know if a visit to a neurologist might be a good idea.

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Good Evening and Slow Morning

Last night we went to a theater production of Honky Tonk Angels. It was a somewhat corny musical tied together by a series of popular country music. Most of it was quite familiar to the audience – at least to us. Kate loved it. It was the most enthusiasm I have seen her express in a while. I was glad to see it as I was beginning to think it might be over.

This morning she was slow to get up. She got up somewhere between 8:00 and 9:00 and got something to drink. Then she went back to bed where she remained until I told her it was time for lunch (11:35 am). She got up and dressed quickly. She perked up after lunch. We didn’t get dessert but on the way home she said she wanted something. I stopped at a new bakery near our house where we got a couple of blondies.

When we got home, I came inside to check email and upload a couple of CDs to my computer. She remained outside until a few minutes ago. She was just doing some pruning.

Tonight I will not give her Benadryl. I have been doing that to help her with the drippage she has had with her cold. I hope that she will be more alert in the morning. I am also going to start my regular letter to her doctor. She has her next appointment on March 10. I have questions about her medications as well as whether or not there might be value in seeing a neurologist.