A Follow-up Talk With Kevin

Two days after I talked with the children, Kevin called to talk. He expressed his concern about Kate and his support for me. He wanted to let me know that he did not want to interfere with our own plans for the future, but that he felt given his work, he wanted to do whatever was best in the years ahead. He also sent a letter a few days later expressing the same sentiment. I sent him an email saying that I intended to be very open with Jesse and him and would send a letter to them after our return from New Zealand. In that letter, I want to let them know the situation a little more fully and to suggest that we work together but that I would like to take the lead at this time. My thoughts are that there is no urgency right now. I want them to know that we have talked about a move to a retirement community, probably here in the Knoxville area. I also thought about a move to Texas to be near Kevin should the need arise. At the moment I feel like that is what we will ultimately do although I am uncertain as to the timing. That would depend on my own health.

One other thing to note is that Kate has been especially sensitive lately. She believes that I don’t think she can do anything independently. Most of the time she is expressing herself in a light, almost humorous way, but underlying it, she is feeling torn between wanting my help and wanting to be independent. I frequently hear her say something like, “See I can be observant too,” or “See I can still do things for myself.” I am developing a concern that this may worsen before it improves. I know that eventually she won’t care.