Ups and Downs This Week, Mostly Ups

It’s been a busy week. My daily schedule has been interrupted more frequently than in the past. That means I’ve been less regular with my posts. Several times I have started one and not been able to finish because of something else I needed to do. Kate has required more attention than usual, but that doesn’t explain everything. The other things have involved household chores.

Tuesday was one of those days about which I didn’t say anything. I was especially interested in writing about the events of the day as a follow up to Monday when she had a rough beginning. Fortunately, I jotted down a few notes so that I can cover the highlights.

The day started like the day before. Her brain seemed to be “blank.” She was very dependent on me; however, she didn’t appear to be disturbed the way she was on Monday.

I don’t know that my own behavior played a role in the way she responded. I do know that I tried to be more careful in waking her than I had done the previous day. I played a full 20 minutes of relaxing music before going to the bedroom to wake her. When I entered the bedroom, she was awake. I said hello and sat down on the bed beside her. This wasn’t planned or intentional, but I think it may have played a role in conveying a relaxed morning, not a moment when I was eager to get her up.

She didn’t know her name or mine nor our relationship. When I said I was her husband, she couldn’t accept it. As I have done on other occasions, I suggested she think of me as a friend. She liked that. I mentioned a shower, but she didn’t want it. I didn’t push.

I told her I loved her. Though a bit unclear, she responded with what she meant to be “A Bushel and a Peck.” I pulled it up on the audio system, and we sang it together several times. Then I suggested she get up so I could take her to lunch. She got up easily. I had started to wake her with plenty of time for her to take a shower. When she didn’t shower, we were left us with additional time to get ready.

As a result, we got to lunch earlier than usual. She was very talkative and initiated a conversation as though we had never met before. She asked me what I did for a living. I explained that I had started out as a college professor. She wanted to know what I taught. When I told her sociology and social psychology, she asked me to explain. I did, and she said that sounded interesting. I went on to say I ended up with my own market research company. She didn’t know what market research is. I explained that, and she also thought that was interesting.

When I finished, I said, “Why don’t you tell me about yourself.” I knew this might put her on the spot but thought my question wasn’t especially threatening. She handled it well and said, “There really isn’t much to tell.” I told her I knew a lot about her. Then I recounted her academic background and teaching career. I pointed out that she had been a good student and had earned two masters degrees. Then I told her about her volunteer career as our church librarian. She was quite interested and added her own comments.

It had been almost a year and a half since she had had a cortisone shot for the arthritis in her knee. Over the past couple of months, she has complained about it periodically, so we went directly from the restaurant to the orthopedic clinic. She was very childlike throughout the visit but handled herself well. We waited in the lobby for about fifteen minutes. Assuming we might have to wait a while, I took along her “Big Sister Album.” I thought that would occupy her for a longer period of time than her iPad. She enjoyed looking at it and made a lot of comments. There were only a couple of others in the room. I am sure they wondered a bit as they heard me identify all the people including Kate herself as she responded much like a child listening to a parent read a book.

We didn’t wait any longer after going back to one of the examining rooms. We met with two different people. Kate didn’t understand a lot of what was said and asked for clarification. I helped interpret what they said. She never understood, but she was satisfied. As we left, she thanked everyone including those in the waiting room.

The most important thing I should say about the day was that it was one of the nicest days we have had in a long time. I think that relates directly to her mood. She was very happy and quite at ease. Her memory wasn’t any better nor was she any less confused about things like whether we were in Texas or Tennessee, but she enjoyed herself. I couldn’t understand everything she said in our conversations, but she was surprisingly sharp in terms of her understanding about the importance of values and the role of parents in teaching them to their children. She has lost so much of her rational ability that I really enjoy hearing her express her opinions, beliefs, feelings, and values that remain intact. It keeps me in touch with the Kate I have always known.

Recently, especially this week, our lives have vacillated between highs and lows. The highs have been very special, and we experienced them every day. They far outweigh the lows. I know greater challenges are on the way. I am counting on the Happy Moments to sustain us.

Trying to Get Back to “Normal”

About 10:45 yesterday morning, I put on some music to wake Kate. Ten minutes later, I approached her bed. She looked up at me and smiled. I knew it would be a different day. I didn’t test her, but she appeared to recognize me. She was still very relaxed and not ready to get up. I chatted with her for another few minutes before telling her I would like to take her to lunch.

She still didn’t want to get up, but finally, with a little encouragement, she did. It was a shower day, and she wasn’t enthusiastic about that. Again, she delayed a little but agreed it was good to get one. Then it was back to bed for another twenty minutes before I got her dressed.

It was a morning when she wanted to exercise her independence and let me know it rather sternly when I tried to help. This is a tough situation for her because she always ends up recognizing that she needs help even though she wants to do everything for herself. I really felt for her. I am always struck by her self-awareness when she responds so harshly to me. She apologized several times before going to lunch. I may say more in another post, but I want to emphasize something I have said before. I don’t interpret her irritation with me to be a direct symptom of her Alzheimer’s. It appears to be result of what is a symptom – an inability to understand what I want her to do and/or my intentions. In her confusion, she strikes back in defense then intuitively recognizes that is not the way she has traditionally acted or wants to act.

Our walk through the family room was not as long as it often is, but she did react positively to the usual things that appeal to her. It was the drive to lunch with music she enjoyed that brought her back.

We didn’t get to the restaurant until 12:45. They were “slammed.” As a result, we didn’t get home until almost 3:00. She was ready to rest and did so for the next two hours. I was on a phone call with my brother fifty minutes of that time. She appeared to sleep a while, but she was awake most of the time. She often mentions the trees outback, especially the tops of the trees she sees through the skylights. She didn’t talk at all yesterday. A half hour before we left for dinner, I thought about looking at some of our old photos, but that didn’t seem to appeal to her.

Throughout the day, she was confused about a variety of things. Most of them were the usual ones I have mentioned before. I had a hard time getting her to understand about using soap when she showered. When I attempted to show her by putting the soap on her, she said, “Don’t touch me.” I think that was a moment when she didn’t recognize who I was. She is also beginning to get confused about the use of her toothbrush and toothpaste. At dinner, I brought her an extra napkin. She didn’t know what to do with it. I explained it was just an extra one she could use if she needed it. (She always does.) She said, “Where should I put it?” I showed her a place on the table to the left of her fork. She couldn’t understand what I meant. I finally placed it for her. She still looked confused.

The best part of the day, and it was really good, came after we got home. I turned on the TV to a YouTube video of a concert version of My Fair Lady with Kiri Te Kanawa and Jeremy Irons. I have played this several times before, but she was never as taken with it as she was last night. She sat in her chair and devoted her attention to it for almost an hour. That is unusual. It is more typical for her to lie down in bed and listen without watching. When the video was over, I got her ready for bed. I had intended to stay up a little longer as I usually do, but she wanted me to come to bed as well.

Ending the day on a high note is one of the most predictable times of the day. The morning continues to be the most unpredictable; overall, however, we still have more happy times than sad ones. I am grateful.

A Day of Ups and Downs

As I said in my previous post, Kate was resting peacefully yesterday morning though not asleep. When I felt it was time to get her up for lunch, I encountered what appeared to be a combination of anxiety and depression. She didn’t want to get up. I quickly sensed that this wasn’t something I had faced before. She seemed more frightened. It was also one of those times when she wasn’t sure who I was and wasn’t as trusting as usual.

I decided not to worry about getting her up immediately but to see if I could comfort her as I have done in the past. I brought in the photo of her mother from the hallway. She looked at it but didn’t say anything nor did she express any interest in seeing it. I put it back and brought in the “Big Sister” album with the photo of her and her brother on the cover. She was mildly interested. She did recognize herself, but it didn’t do a thing to change her mood or readiness to get up.

I said, “You look frightened. Are you?” She nodded her agreement. I said, “I would like to help you if I can.” She said, “I know you want to help, but there isn’t anything you can do.” I asked if she could tell me about it. She couldn’t. I continued to talk with her very gently focusing on making her comfortable with me. That paid off.

After what was probably fifteen minutes, I asked if I could take her to lunch. She said, “I don’t know.” Then I suggested that she might feel better if she got dressed and we went to lunch. She didn’t buy into that immediately, but I assured her that she would feel better if she got up. She finally agreed.

When she got to the family room, she started to recover. She took an even longer time looking at the plants on the patio and the trees behind our house. She also perked up when she saw her ceramic cat just before entering the kitchen. All of this stimulation took her mind off of her fright. It looked like she was fine. Then as we stepped out of the house into the garage, she became frightened again. She didn’t know why.

We got into the car, and I put on some music that I hoped would help to calm her. That worked. By the time we reached the restaurant, she was all right. We encountered only one issue during lunch. She asked my name. I told her, and then she became very sad about not remembering it. Then she asked her name. When I told her, she tried several times to repeat it, but was only able to do it with great difficulty. The rest of our lunch went well, and we got back to the house without any problems.

As she often does, she asked what she could do. I gave her the usual options. She decided to look at a photo book. I decided to let her look through it by herself. I read the introductory information. Before I finished, she was tired and wanted to rest.

She rested about two hours before I asked if she would like to look at some of our old 35 mm slides that I had converted to digital a few years ago. She usually declines. This time she surprised me. I got my laptop and sat down beside her. I started with photos from the Fall of 1968 when our daughter was born. She enjoyed seeing them. It had been years since we had looked at them. We spent almost an hour doing that before going to dinner. It was a highlight of the day.

As we drove home from dinner, she became concerned about “the other people” who would be “there.” I explained that we were going to our house and that no one else would be there. I told her it would be a time for us to relax without any obligations. That seemed to relieve her. At least she didn’t say anything more about it.

At home, she surprised me again by working on her jigsaw puzzles for over an hour without much help. After that she was tired and wanted to quit. We adjourned to the bedroom, and she was in bed around 8:00. It is almost 10:00 this morning, and she hasn’t gotten up. I’ll let her sleep until 10:45 if she doesn’t wake sooner. I am hoping for a better day.

Christmas Music And A Fire

This is a cold, rainy day with the prospect of some snow. We made our usual visit to Panera and Kate seemed to be having a good day. While we were at lunch, I checked something on my phone. Kate asked what I was doing. I told her. Then she said, “Why don’t I have one.” I hesitated a moment trying to think of just the right thing to say. I said, “You used to have one. We may have an old one at the house.” She gave me a disgusted look and said something about having to depend on me to drive her where she wanted to go. I realized she was talking about a car and not a phone. Then she said something that indicated she didn’t want to talk about it any further. She looked very depressed.

She was very quiet for the balance of the meal. I began to think of the afternoon and her not being able to work outside. That led me to check the Live in HD at The Met performance. We have frequently attended those in the past but have not gone this season. I saw that Hansel and Gretel was scheduled. I asked if she wanted to try it. She said she did. We continued with our meal. At one point she asked, “What am I going to do this afternoon?” I reminded her about the opera, and she accepted that.

The theater that usually has the operas was diagonally across the street from the restaurant. We walked over after lunch to discover that they were not showing the one today. I hope that doesn’t mean they have discontinued them. That left us with another option, to go home and sit by the fire. Both of us thought that sounded like a good idea.

On the way home I played a recording of Fiddler on the Roof. When Kate heard “If I Were a Rich Man,” she chuckled. That completely changed her mood. She continued to chuckle throughout the song. Once we were home, I got the fire going and turned on some Christmas music. She had her iPad in her lap, but she was so taken by the music and the fire that she put it down. At one point, I looked over at her and saw that she had her eyes closed and a smile on her face. She was happy. I must admit that brought a tear to my eyes. I love seeing her enjoy herself.

After a while, she got up and left the room. She’s been gone about 45 minutes. I walked back to the bedroom. She was in bed with the cover over her.

A Bad Start, But a Great Finish

Yesterday was our first cold day of the season. That follows a lengthy period of time when our temperatures have been well above normal. Apart from the cooler temperature, it rained on and off the entire day and into the night. I don’t think the weather is likely to have affected Kate’s mood, but she didn’t begin the day as cheerfully as she has been doing lately. She was up earlier. That meant an earlier visit to Panera. After an hour she had a very dejected look on her face that made me surmise (correctly) that she was ready to go home.

On most days, she would have wanted to go directly to the yard to pull leaves. In this case, the weather prevented that. I told her I would build a fire in the fireplace and that we could pull up our chairs and enjoy the first fire of the season. She seemed to like that. We have a lot of wood that is left over from the past two years when it was much warmer than usual. The fire was going in a flash, and both of us commented on how good it felt to relax in front of the fire. After almost an hour, Kate appeared to have had enough. She got up from her chair leaving her iPad behind. She started re-arranging some of the knick knacks on the entertainment center in the living room. It was obvious she was ready for something else. I suggested we go to lunch. She accepted.

I began to think about the rest of the day. She had a facial scheduled for 4:00, and we were going to attend Jazz Night at Casa Bella at 6:00. That led me to think about her getting a manicure and pedicure. It had been a while since I had arranged that for her. I mentioned that to her on the way to lunch. She was not enthusiastic but accepted the suggestion.

We had a nice lunch at a place near our home. When we got back to the house, I called the nail shop and discovered they could take her right away; so off we went. It’s located a few doors down from Panera. While Kate was getting her nails done, I went to Panera with my laptop. She was finished about 3:15. That left us only 45 minutes before her facial. I decided that we should go back to Panera until time for her facial appointment. By this time, her mood had begun to change. She wasn’t overly cheerful, but she was not down the way she had been in the morning.

The spa where she gets her facial is a few doors from Whole Foods. I usually go there with my laptop while Kate is getting a facial or massage. About a year and a half ago, I signed her up to have a facial and a massage once a month, each about two weeks from the other. She has seemed to enjoy that. Yesterday was no exception. She was relaxed when I picked her up.

When we got home, we had less than an hour before leaving for Casa Bella. I listened to the news while she worked on her iPad. I had downloaded photos from our recent trip to Texas to her iPad. Her puzzle program allows her to create new puzzles with any of the photos. Again, she was not overly enthusiastic, but she did get a kick out of seeing the pictures. She hasn’t figured out how to select the photos and create a puzzle, but I can do that for her. After she completes each photo puzzle I have created, she selects one of the stock puzzles that come with the program. Each time she runs into a road block, I create a new photo puzzle for her. I am going to continue adding new photos to her iPad so that she will have a large selection from which I can choose.

We got to Casa Bella a few minutes after 6:00 and sat at our usual table with the parents of the owners of the restaurant. Kate and I like both of them, and last night no one else joined us at the table. That meant it was much easier to enjoy the conversation. I am sure this made the experience a better one for Kate. As I have noted in previous posts, we attend Opera Night on the first Thursday of each month as well as Broadway Night on the third Thursday of the month. Jazz Night is a new musical program that began a few weeks ago. Last night was only the second time we have attended.

The program was superb. We had heard that a clarinetist we know from the local symphony was going to be playing but nothing else. It turned out that he was part of a trio of extremely talented musicians that included a an outstanding female vocalist and a guitarist. The music consisted of many familiar ballads. We and the rest of the audience were thrilled with the performance. To top things off, we ran into several other people we know who had not attended before. That made the evening very special in a variety of ways. A day that had started out rocky ended on a high note. The events of the morning were long forgotten. Of course, that was especially true for Kate.

The Value of Social Engagement and Activity

I am happy to report that Kate’s mood began to change before we left for home after our haircuts. Dawn is a big talker and a cheerful person. I believe the interaction (listening? <g>) with her as well as that among the three of us provided Kate with a needed lift.

The big change came with our evening at Casa Bella for Opera Night. The conversation was especially lively last night. I should point out that we gather around 6:00, but the program doesn’t begin until 7:00. Kate does not talk much herself, but it appears that she benefits from the stimulation of being with others. As I have mentioned in the past, we sit at the same table as the senior couple of the family that owns the restaurant. The wife, who is 92 and the daughter of the woman who started the restaurant, and her husband, who is a year older, are both delightful people.

Last night’s singers were especially talented, and the program was also very appealing. I sat across the table from Kate. That gave me the opportunity to see the expression on her face the entire time. She was just beaming, and when she applauded, she did so with gusto.

The evening reinforced my own belief in the importance of social contact and activity. I have worked hard to provide a good bit of that through eating out and our attendance at so many live performances. That, of course, represents only a portion of a day. Up until now, working in the yard and the jigsaw puzzles on her iPad have filled in the rest of the time. With the cooler weather, the leaves are not growing as rapidly. That means there is less to do outside. She is also encountering more difficulty with her iPad. This may be a time I need to look to other avenues for social connection. One of those could be to visit some of my former Sunday school class members, something I would like to do but haven’t done as much because of the time I spend with Kate. I think I could combine both of these needs.

Sad Moment

We’ve had a great time with Kevin over the past few days. We dropped him off at the airport a couple of hours ago. There were several highlights while he was here. One of those was the Knoxville Opera concert on Saturday night. Another was a trip to the zoo yesterday afternoon. We had gone to the zoo in March when Kevin was here with Taylor. Kate had loved it, and I had been looking for a good time to return. It was too hot during most of the summer. The weather cooled off when Kevin came, and I thought it would be worth a try again. It really worked. She was as fascinated with the animals as any child would have been. I will certainly think about another visit to the zoo this fall
After returning from the airport, Kate remained outside. She got a little warm in less than an hour and came inside. It wasn’t long before she came to the kitchen with her iPad and a look of boredom on her face. I said, “You’d like to go someplace.” She nodded. I got my iPad and two cups for drink. We headed for Panera.

As we entered the parking lot, I noticed that she was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe. I didn’t say anything. Once we were seated, she looked down at her shoes and noticed they didn’t match. She said, “I have one brown and one black shoe.” I told her that would be all right. She looked bothered but didn’t say anything. I watched her for another moment, and she started to cry. I said, “I don’t want you to be bothered. It’s all right.” She pulled herself together, but it was clear to me that it was one of those moments when she realizes that she is changing. It is so sad to watch this. I feel much better when she doesn’t recognize the symptoms.

Ups and Downs

After that rough day on Monday, Tuesday turned out to be a good day. All day she seemed to be in a better mood.

Yesterday  was another matter. Once again, it involved (at least partially) her problems with the iPad. She continues to hit something that take her to a different screen (window) from the puzzle on which she was working. In almost every instance I have been able to see a button that will get her back to the puzzle. I hand it back to her, and she goes back to the puzzle. Eventually, sometimes in minutes, she encounters the same problem. It does no good to explain how to get back to her puzzle because she can’t remember what I say. In addition, I can’t explain how she got out of the puzzle because I am not working the puzzles and don’t know the layout. Even if I did, she wouldn’t remember it.

We went to Panera three times again yesterday. Kate got up early and was ready to leave before 8:00. We got there about 7:45. By 10:00, she wanted to leave. We came back home where she pulled leaves for a while. Then she came in. She asked me what she could do. I asked if she wanted to go back to Panera. She said she did. We remained there until 11:30 when we went to lunch.

When we came home she pulled leaves for a short while. Then she came inside and worked on her iPad. She grew bored again and wanted to get out of the house. We went back to Panera where we remained until shortly after 4:30. We were home until 5:30 when we left for Casa Bella for Broadway night. At home she worked a while on leaves until I called her into the house to get ready to leave. She forgot and remained outside. I had to go back two other times. When I reminded her we were going out, she said she didn’t know what she would wear. I told her I picked out her clothes. She came in and started to take a shower. I told her we didn’t have time for that. She then asked again about her clothes. I took her to her room where I had put the clothes on the bed along with her shoes and socks. I left her to get dressed. Soon I heard the shower. I went in, and she was about to get in the shower. I reminded her we needed to leave. I took her back into her room. She had not remembered that I had put out clothes. I remained with her while she dressed. At one point, she apologized for making me wait. I told her I didn’t want her to worry about that, and that I was fine. I told her we were going out to have a good time together.

We got there on time and had a good evening. The Adairs, with whom we usually sit, were not there; so we sat with another couple that we had met a couple of times before. We had a good time although Kate did not appear to be as enthusiastic as she has been after some of these evenings. It makes me wonder if the difference was a change in Kate or, possibly, that we were sitting with people she didn’t know as well.

Back to Lowe’’s, and I’’m happy.

I never thought I would say that I was happy to hear Kate say she wanted to go to Lowe’s again. Last year, we spent a good bit of money on plants. I accepted this without resistance because I knew that working in the yard (and having plants to plant) is a major activity for her. It is truly her therapy. Today’s visit was the first since January. While it has been nice not to make several trips a week, it left a void in Kate’s activities. For that reason I was thrilled when she mentioned an interest. When we got home, she changed clothes and has been working outside for almost 2 hours. I finally had to call her in to get her shower and dress for dinner. We will probably go to her favorite Mexican restaurant.

On the way to Lowe’s we did have another mini-crisis. We had just been to a movie where she had gotten a Mr. Pibb. She still had most of it left when we left and brought it with her to the car. She put it in the cup holder between the driver and passenger’s seats. In a few minutes she picked up the cup to take a drink. When she did, it slipped from her hand and spilled her drink on both seats but mostly in the two cup holders and, I am sure, the carpet at least on the passenger side. The upset her tremendously. Once again she took this as a sign of her failing. She has commented before on not being able to do anything right. There is a good bit of truth in this conclusion, but I hate for her to feel so badly about it.

Perhaps I should explain a little of the back ground to her being so upset. She knows that I am very particular with my car. Years ago in previous cars when they were new (from just purchased to 3 years old), I didn’t permit food or drink in the car. I have loosened up on that over the years, but I still try to keep the car in great shape (as I do with most things I own). So it is not just knowing that she is getting a bit clumsy that causes the panic; it is knowing that keeping the car clean is a high priority for me. She is correct that it troubles me, but I have learned to accept this as I have learned to accept so many other things that are not part of my own personality preferences.

A similar incident occurred last week. This time it had nothing to do with my own concern about taking care of things although I must admit it was something that bothered me a little. I was helping her with something in the bedroom when she started to put a glass of Diet Coke on her bed table. She put it on the edge of the table and the mostly full glass spilled on the carpet and the iPad and power cable for it. Fortunately, not much hit the iPad, and I wiped it off quickly. I did the same with the power cord which got much more. This and today’s spilling of her drink in the car are good example of the kind of childlike things that occur much more frequently than in the past. They are also a good example of the kinds of things about which I am making adjustments, and I think I am doing so successfully. I admit that it starts with my taking a rational approach to whatever happens. Then I am better able to minimize the emotional reaction that I have inside. I find, however, that Kate knows me so well that she knows the things that bother me even if I don’t express it..

The Rest of the Day

I started the morning early thinking about Kate and the future. I am now ending the day feeling better than I did at that time. However, not everything has been encouraging during the day. The good news is that when she got up this morning, she walked into the kitchen smiling. It was the kind of look I have grown accustomed to over the past 52+ years.

After my morning walk, I worked at the computer in the kitchen for a good while. Some of that was writing the earlier post today. Kate had looked at the memo pad I keep on the island and saw that this was the day for our houseskeeper to come and also the day we were going to visit her friend, Ellen in Nashville. I reminded her of these things. About 9:30, I thought I should check on her since I had wanted to leave shortly after 10:00. When I went back to her office, I discovered that she was still in her nightgown. She was sorting through and hanging up clothes that were on her bed. I think they must have been from the cruise. I told her we were going to leave in 35 minutes and that I needed to mail a couple of letters and would be back after that. I bumped into a friend at Starbucks and chatted a few minutes with him; so I didn’t get back to the house until almost 9:50. She was still in her nightgown. She asked how much time we had. I told her 10 minutes thinking that 15-20 would be all right. About 15 minutes later, she came out dressed for the day. I was surprised she was ready. She seemed a bit panicky. She said something about my being angry with her for being late. I assured her (unsuccessfully) that I was not angry. It was no use. She started crying. She told me she was trying so hard. She repeated that she knew I was angry and was just trying to be nice. What she didn’t know is that I had called our friends whom we were to meet at at 11:30 and told them we were running late but would be there. In other words, I wasn’t angry at all. In fact, although I often find myself frustrated, I don’t believe I ever get angry with her. I genuinely believe I am understanding of why she behaves as she does. That makes all the difference in the world. At any rate, we left in the car with her feeling really bad about making me angry. We didn’t talk the entire way to Nashville. I put on a playlist of music I have created just for moments like these. I have used it quite a number of times. It played all the way.

After parking the car, we walked to the restaurant. Kate left her coat in the car, and it was windy and 41 degrees. I said, “Don’t you want your coat?” She looked at me angrily and said, “”No.” We hadn’t walked too far when she said she needed her coat. I gave her mine. Although I had a sweater, it was pretty chilly. When we got in the car after lunch, I asked her when she was going to give me back my coat. Once again, she looked at me angrily. I didn’t pursue the subject, and she wore the coat until we got home. By that time I feel sure she didn’t even remember that she was wearing my coat. She was in a good humor, however. At 7:50 p.m., she told me she was going to bed. I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me. She was relaxed and very comfortable in bed. All is well.