I’ve talked before about the way happy and sad moments are often intertwined. That was true for the way our day started yesterday. About 7:45, I saw on the video cam that Kate was sitting up in bed. I went to check on her. She wanted to go to the bathroom. She was very groggy and confused. I walked her to the bathroom. Like the day before, she was unsure of herself. Even when I showed her the toilet, she was unsure that was it. This was not the first time. I’m not sure whether it is the fault of her eyesight or her memory that prevents her immediately recognizing the toilet.
When she had finished, she said, “What now?” On some days she resists taking a shower. I took advantage of her dependence on me for direction and told her I thought it would be good to take one. I knew it was unusually early for her to get up, and she would want to get back in bed after showering. That is exactly what happened. I got her up in time get to lunch and back before the sitter arrived.
She was still confused and asked my name, and I told her. Then she asked her own name. I told her. It wouldn’t stick, however. She asked the same questions another four or five times before I got her dressed.
Fortunately, it was a day when we had plenty of time to have lunch before the sitter’s arrival. As we walked into the family room, she took a few minutes to admire her plants. She almost always stops just before the door to our kitchen to say hello and goodbye to Pepper, the ceramic cat that lies on the floor near the fireplace. She did so yesterday. This time she also looked at a photo of our son, Kevin, when he was about ten. She was especially taken with it and asked if she could take it with us. I told her she could. I asked if she knew who he was. She didn’t. When we reached the restaurant, she asked if she could take it inside. I told her that would be fine. She took it along with her and kept it in front of her during the entire meal. By the end of our lunch, she seemed to be back to normal.
She was tired when we returned to the house. She was resting on the sofa when Mary arrived. I told her I was leaving to donate platelets and that Mary was there if she needed anything. She told me goodbye and greeted Mary but didn’t get up. When I came home, the two of them were talking. It was another good experience with the sitter.
She wanted to rest again after Mary left. She rested about forty-five minutes. Then she said, “Would you add one other thing to what I had written? Tell him where we live.” I said, “I will.” I didn’t ask who. I am sure it was another instance of her thinking about something and believing it was a conversation we were having.
At dinner, Kate was confused about what to do with her napkin. First, she asked our server what she should do. The server didn’t understand what she wanted. I placed the knife and fork for her. Then I told her to put the napkin in her lap. She could not understand that. It may have been that she didn’t recognize the word “lap.” She is forgetting more words these days. For example, she didn’t know the word “pickle” at lunch and never remembers “gelato” even though we have it twice a week. At any rate, I got up and placed the napkin in her lap. By the time I got back to my chair, she had already put it back on the table and asked, “Is this all right?” I told her it was.
Normally, when we get home from dinner, we sit in stay in the family room a while before going to our bedroom. Last night, Kate was tired, so we skipped the family room. I watched a little of the evening news and then took a shower. I turned on YouTube videos of Sierra Boggess at one of the BBC’s PROMS concerts. When I finished my shower, I saw her sitting in her chair enraptured by the music. She was smiling with her eyes closed and her head moving in sync with the music. She watched the videos a while longer and then wanted to go to bed.
When I got in bed an hour later, she was almost asleep. I moved over close to her. We chatted a couple of minutes.
Kate: “Who are you?”
Richard: “Do you mean my name or my relationship with you?”
Kate: “Both.”
Richard: “First, tell me if I seem to be someone familiar to you?”
Kate: “Yes, very familiar.”
Then I told her my name and that I was her husband. She didn’t display any surprise as she sometimes does. It wasn’t long before we were asleep.
