In previous posts, I’ve said that our approach to Alzheimer’s has helped us live well, even joyfully. If that is so, it seems reasonable to ask if it could do the same for others.
I can answer that question, but first, I want to make clear what I mean by our approach. I’m not referring to the specific things that we did – binging on music, eating out, and traveling to exciting places. The approach I mean is to accept Alzheimer’s and the loss of rational thought coupled with a heavy emphasis on intuitive thought. We didn’t realize it at the beginning, but most of the activities we chose to enjoy life were ones Kate could enjoy for a long time. Not only that, but I could enjoy them with her.
So, is it possible that other Alzheimer’s couples facing the disease could live as well as we have? My short answer is “Yes, it is definitely possible. In fact, it’s already happening. One example is that of Tony Copeland-Parker and his wife, Catherine (Cat). Tony wrote the book “Running All Over the World”. Their story follows their lives after Cat was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. They took early retirement at UPS, sold their house, and began years of marathoning in all fifty states and seven continents. They did that for years until the late stage of Alzheimer’s brought that to an end.
Another is Helene Berger and her husband, Ady. Helene decided to shift her focus from managing a disease to actively focusing on daily happiness.
The result was constant mental stimulation, absolute kindness, and a conflict-free environment that led to what physicians considered an unprecedented stabilization. In his final years, Ady became known in his community as “the man with the radiant smile,” returning to the piano, drawing, and greeting friends by name. Helene tells their story in her book CHOOSING JOY. There are many similarities between Berger’s care for her husband and my care for Kate. Both of us have placed emphasis on keeping our spouses happy.
Judy Cornish can tell other stories like these. She is the author of THE DEMENTIA HANDBOOK. She has made a career out of helping people live well with dementia. She has numerous examples of others, besides Kate and me, who have followed her advice and have been able to live well with dementia.
Thus, I have no doubts that it is possible for others to live well if they followed our approach. The key word, however, is “possible”. Kate and I have had a number of advantages that have made a difference for us that others might not have. I’ll explain in a later post.
