For the second time this week Kate did not recognize me when she woke up. These occurrences come only days after my saying that she almost always recognizes me as someone she knows and trusts. That is still true, but it makes me question my optimism as to how long this will last.
As I have seen so often, this failure to recognize me came with a mixture of other signs that she sensed more familiarity than her rational ability could express. She didn’t display any sense of surprise when I walked into the room. She appeared to respond to me as she normally does. Then she said, “Who are you?” I said, “Do you recognize me at all?” She said she didn’t, and I gave her my name and told her I am her husband.” She seemed more puzzled than usual by this news. She didn’t recognize either my name or that I am her husband.
At that point, I decided not to make this a point of discussion. I was confident that with a little time she would put it all together. I suggested that she get up and let me take her to lunch. She responded the way she always does and got up. She let me help her dress. She went to brush her teeth, and I went to the kitchen. In a few minutes, I heard her say, “Hey, where are you?” That, too, is very normal. She doesn’t know her way around the house and looks to me to tell her where she should go. As I walked toward the family room, I said, “I’m in the kitchen.” She was standing in the doorway coming into the family room from our bedroom and saw me. We went back to the kitchen where I had her morning meds waiting for her. When she had taken them, I picked up our iPads and cups and we left for lunch at Panera.
While waiting for our order, she asked my name. I told her and said, “I am your husband.” She seemed puzzled and asked how long we had been married. I told her. She didn’t question me. Instead, she asked me her name. That led to her asking if we have children. When I told her, she wanted to know their names. That led to further conversation about our marriage. I told her we had had many good times during our marriage. She agreed and asked me to tell her some of them. After that, I didn’t see any obvious signs that she didn’t know me.
We stayed at Panera about an hour and a half and then returned home where Kate rested almost two hours. Then we went back to dealership to pick up my car that I left the other day. When the service rep walked us to our car, I walked directly to my side. Normally, I would have opened the door for Kate and helped her get settled in with her seat belt. Before I got in the car, I looked back and she was standing at the rear of the car waiting for me to tell her where to go. It is very common for her not to know which side of the car she should use. I know this but had fallen down on the job. I walked her to the passenger’s door. Once she had gotten in she didn’t know where to put her cup. The service rep was waiting for me at the driver’s door. She is the same one I had given my first “Alzheimer’s card” two days before. If I hadn’t already given her one, I would have this time. There was no need now. She understood.
Last night was Broadway night at Casa Bella. Kate’s confusion continued. She was seated beside the woman whose mother started the restaurant almost 79 years ago. We sit with Signora Rizzo and her husband for all the music nights. We hadn’t been there too long before Kate leaned over to the Signora and said, “What’s the name of this restaurant?” Everyone at the table is aware of Kate’s diagnosis, and Signora Rizzo responded beautifully. She told Kate the name of the restaurant and that her mother had started it. She also gave her a little of the restaurant’s history. Kate was surprised and interested in what she had to say.
I’m not sure why, but it took longer to get our meals last night. Several times after we had ordered, Kate asked me if we had ordered and when we were going to eat. Finally, she said, “Does this place serve food?” Signore Rizzo, who was seated beside me, said, “I was wondering the same thing, Kate.” We have always enjoyed sitting with this couple. The way each of them responded to Kate last night is consistent with the kind of people they are. I hope we have many more music nights together.
These little public incidents of Kate’s confusion are trivial. No one was embarrassed or disturbed, but they do make me wonder what lies ahead.
