A New First in Connection with Sleep

Except for Thursday, Kate has slept late every morning this week. Night before last, she went to be bed later than usual. Several times I suggested that she get ready for bed. Each time she was engrossed with her jigsaw puzzles and wanted to finish “this one.” She always forgets and opens another one. I was able to get her into her night clothes, but she continued on her iPad after getting into bed. Finally, I decided to get in bed. That usually prompts her to do the same. This time she kept on working her puzzles. She didn’t want to but agreed to call it a night. It was after 10:00. She seems to need about twelve or thirteen hours a night, so I was a little concerned that she might be working her way into staying up longer and sleeping later. I suggested she stop for the night, and she reluctantly agreed.

Yesterday we had no obligations to be anywhere at any time nor did we have a sitter. I decided to let her sleep until about 10:30. That would have given her close to twelve hours sleep. As I have been doing lately, I turned on some music. About twenty minutes later, I checked on her. She was sleeping soundly. I tried to wake her gently. She looked up at me and immediately closed her eyes. I asked if she would like me to take her to lunch. She didn’t answer. I told her I would let her sleep a little longer. I went back a couple of other times before trying a little harder to get her up. That was shortly after noon. She was resistant. I asked if she would like me to go ahead to lunch and leave her with the housekeeper. She asked me to go ahead, and I did. That was a first. Each time I have given her the option to stay with the sitter and have the sitter take her to lunch later, she has always gotten up. That didn’t work this time. When I got back, she was still in bed. That’s when I told her I hated to get her up but felt I was concerned that she might not be able to get to sleep tonight if she stayed in bed much longer. She got up. As she does frequently now, she asked me where the bathroom is.  She held my hand as I walked her there.

She is still vacillating between wanting my help getting dressed and holding on to her independence. She started to dress herself. Then she asked that I stay with her. Ultimately, she needed help with every step. She struggled a second with her pants and then handed them to me to put on. She put on her socks by herself. Sometimes she gives them to me to put on for her. She handed her shoes to me so that I could put them on for her.

It was 2:25 when we left the house to get her some lunch. I had decided earlier to skip our customary lunch at Bluefish. We went over to Panera where she got a sandwich. We stayed there another until 4:00 and came back to the house. We relaxed in the family room. After a while, she put her iPad down, closed her eyes and rested in her chair. She was still tired even after getting up so late. Because of that I suggested that we eat early.

We had a very nice time at dinner. The food was good, but it was our time together that was special. We were both enjoying the moment. That doesn’t mean that she didn’t ask me the restaurant’s name multiple times as well as the city name. One of the new things is her asking, “What is Knoxville?” when I tell her where we are. I tell her that Knoxville is a city, like Fort Worth is a city. While eating, we talked about our marriage and being grateful that our love has lasted. She said, “I’ll tell you one thing. I’m going to keep you.” Immediately following that she said, “What is your name?”

Those of you who visit this site regularly know that we view eating out as a social occasion. We experienced a little of that as well. We saw two couples that I have known professionally. One of the women reminded me that she had hired me to lead a workshop at the State Library many years ago. I didn’t remember it at all. It must have been when I was just starting out because leading workshops was never a significant part of my career. I was pleased to see that the other woman immediately engaged Kate in conversation. We see her and her husband in various places around town and joined them for a few minutes at their table before we left.

On the way home, Kate asked, “Where are we staying tonight?” I told her we were going to stay in our “very own home.” She was both surprised and pleased. Since she is unable to remember where she is, she often feels like we are someplace else. Most of the time she thinks we are in her home town of Fort Worth. She said she was tired and was going to bed early. As we arrived at our house, she said, “It looks like they’ve kept up the house.” Then as she got out of the car, she said, “I haven’t the slightest idea where I am.”

Once inside the house, I put on an album of Puccini arias. She stopped working on her iPad to listen. When it was over, I asked if she would like to watch the last act of La Boheme. We had watched the first two acts the previous night. When it was over, we got ready for bed. She asked, “What is your name?” I asked, “Do you remember that we are married?” She nodded. I said, “Do you love me?” She said, “Yes.” Then I told her how long we had been married. She was as surprised as she has ever been. Then I said, “My name is Richard Creighton.”