In connection with our weekend trip to North Carolina, I have communicated with two friends who have asked essentially the same questions. “Considering the benefits of our trip and the challenges presented by it, was it worth it? And what are the implications for our plans to spend Thanksgiving with our son and his family in Texas?” The first is the easier one to answer. I was glad to have made the NC trip. That could very easily have been the last one we will make there together. It was a very good experience for me. It was definitely a disappointment that nothing we did enabled Kate to appreciate the past in the way that I could. My expectations were not high, but I did hope that she would express more glimmers of recognition. Ironically, the only things she said she remembered were two things we had never seen before, both places where our friends live. I can’t be sure and can’t explain it, but I believe that on some level she recognized Dot, Reggie, and Evelyn. She certainly gave every sign of recognition, but I know from past experience that she can easily do that without recognizing who she is with.
The more difficult question is whether or not I believe we can make the trip to Texas for Thanksgiving. That is complicated by the unknowns concerning Kate’s situation at the time. If we were traveling today, I would go. I also feel this trip is an important one to make as I believe it will be her last visit to Texas and our son’s family. With that in mind, I bought our airline tickets yesterday. That should clearly express my intent to make the trip.
As you have no doubt picked up, Kate is declining more noticeably now. Thanksgiving is 8 weeks from tomorrow. I have no way of predicting what she will be like at that time. I intend to approach everything we do one day at a time. So far that has worked for us. We have often been able to do things much longer than I thought possible. This time I am not predicting what will happen. I will be ready if we can make it. If not, we will make other arrangements for Thanksgiving and be thankful for all the good times we have had and others that are sure to follow.
