As I have mentioned on a couple of occasions, perhaps more, I have noticed that Kate is looking to me to take charge of things she had controlled in the past. Specifically, I have commented on her willingness (though reluctantly) to receive and even ask for my help finding the right clothes to wear.
There are a couple of recent things that I have not made a point of. Yesterday evening, for example, when we drove into the garage from dinner, she asked in the style of a little child, “Can I go around to the side of the house and work for a little while?” I told her I would be happy for her to do that.
After she came in, she brought a handful of clothes into the kitchen and said, “These are wet. You might want to wash them right now.”
These things are especially striking to me since she is also more frequently commenting on how much I want to control her life. She occasionally refers to me as “Master” in a derogatory sense. And despite the fact that I am constantly thinking of the things that will make her happy or not in an effort to keep her upbeat, she occasionally remarks that “You don’t think of me. If you were the one who is hot, you would see that the air conditioner (in the car) is on right away.” I take these things as part of the transition to a period of greater dependence on me. This is something to which I do not look forward. I treasure the fact that we have been able to enjoy ourselves so much since her diagnosis. I will always be grateful for this time. I would also like to postpone as long as possible the stages that remain ahead.
