I never thought I would say that I was happy to hear Kate say she wanted to go to Lowe’s again. Last year, we spent a good bit of money on plants. I accepted this without resistance because I knew that working in the yard (and having plants to plant) is a major activity for her. It is truly her therapy. Today’s visit was the first since January. While it has been nice not to make several trips a week, it left a void in Kate’s activities. For that reason I was thrilled when she mentioned an interest. When we got home, she changed clothes and has been working outside for almost 2 hours. I finally had to call her in to get her shower and dress for dinner. We will probably go to her favorite Mexican restaurant.
On the way to Lowe’s we did have another mini-crisis. We had just been to a movie where she had gotten a Mr. Pibb. She still had most of it left when we left and brought it with her to the car. She put it in the cup holder between the driver and passenger’s seats. In a few minutes she picked up the cup to take a drink. When she did, it slipped from her hand and spilled her drink on both seats but mostly in the two cup holders and, I am sure, the carpet at least on the passenger side. The upset her tremendously. Once again she took this as a sign of her failing. She has commented before on not being able to do anything right. There is a good bit of truth in this conclusion, but I hate for her to feel so badly about it.
Perhaps I should explain a little of the back ground to her being so upset. She knows that I am very particular with my car. Years ago in previous cars when they were new (from just purchased to 3 years old), I didn’t permit food or drink in the car. I have loosened up on that over the years, but I still try to keep the car in great shape (as I do with most things I own). So it is not just knowing that she is getting a bit clumsy that causes the panic; it is knowing that keeping the car clean is a high priority for me. She is correct that it troubles me, but I have learned to accept this as I have learned to accept so many other things that are not part of my own personality preferences.
A similar incident occurred last week. This time it had nothing to do with my own concern about taking care of things although I must admit it was something that bothered me a little. I was helping her with something in the bedroom when she started to put a glass of Diet Coke on her bed table. She put it on the edge of the table and the mostly full glass spilled on the carpet and the iPad and power cable for it. Fortunately, not much hit the iPad, and I wiped it off quickly. I did the same with the power cord which got much more. This and today’s spilling of her drink in the car are good example of the kind of childlike things that occur much more frequently than in the past. They are also a good example of the kinds of things about which I am making adjustments, and I think I am doing so successfully. I admit that it starts with my taking a rational approach to whatever happens. Then I am better able to minimize the emotional reaction that I have inside. I find, however, that Kate knows me so well that she knows the things that bother me even if I don’t express it..
