Late yesterday after my entry indicating that Kate’s crisis was over, it appeared that everything was fine again. Then as we prepared to go to dinner, she asked was looking for shoes to wear. I told her I thought they were in our bedroom where she had been resting and then using her iPad. I went to the bedroom and brought them back. Before I left her in her bedroom, I heard her becoming frantic and starting to cry. By the time I returned with the shoes, she was in tears again. I put my arms around her. Through her tears she said, “I can’t find anything.” She continued to be distressed when we got in the car to go. I put on the second movement of Brahms’s Violin Concerto which is a soothing piece of music that I regularly play in the car to calm her. In a few minutes, she said, “I really could not live without you.”
When we got to the restaurant and sat down, I could see that she was depressed even though the tears had stopped. I reached across the table and grasped her hands in mind and said something I intended to be comforting. She said, “I am just a little low right now.” I, of course, was thinking this was an expression of her continued frustration over misplacing things. Then she said, “To say that about my mother.” Then I knew that she was thinking about believing that someone had said something about her mother. I started to say something. She stopped me and said, “And I know it’s not a dream.” That is something I have suggested following previous occurrences. Moments after this, she smiled and said, “I’m over it now.” Then she was fine for the balance of the meal and the evening.
What concerns me is the intensity of her frustration. If it is at this level now, it is bound to get worse before it gets better. She is really suffering pain even though I don’t think it weighs on her mind all the time. Since she can’t remember things from one minute to the next, she always has to face not being able to find something she wants or needs. I wish I could relieve her of the problem.
