Bouncing Back

I am sorry about that I haven’t written anything since before Christmas. I suppose that is an indication that nothing of major significance has occurred in the time frame. We did learn that Kate’s car was totaled and that they will send us a check for the estimated value of the car. Kate has raised the issue of getting another car, and I really think this is the time for her to stop driving. When she brought it up about a week ago, I suggested we talk about it later. She hasn’t brought it up again, and neither have I.

One good thing happened. She went to lunch with her friend, Ellen, on Monday and told her about the accident. Ellen volunteered to take Kate wherever she wanted to go. That led to Kate’s asking her to lunch on Friday while I had lunch with Mark Harrington. They went to Macaroni Grill for lunch, to Coldwater Creek for shopping, and then to a movie (Philomena). Kate got back home around 4:15 and had had a wonderful time. She has continued to talk about how much fun they had and what a good friend Ellen is. She also talked about how smart Ellen is, something she notes about many people she is around.

I can’t help wondering if Ellen may not be the first person with whom Kate shares her secret regarding her AD. I think that would be a relief for Kate. She still doesn’t want to make this public.

At lunch today Kate mentioned once again that she thought Ellen would really enjoy taking her places. She told Ellen that sometimes she just likes to take her computer to the library and work there for a change. Ellen said she would love to do that herself. Kate also talked about how comfortable she feels talking with Ellen.

This past Thursday I took Ellen to her PEO meeting. A few days before, I saw an email from the chapter president who asked her to bring some old archival documents that Kate had been keeping in our attic. Knowing that she would forget, I went to the attic and got them ready the day before the meeting. Then I put them in the car and took them in when I took her to the meeting. Inside I spoke briefly with one of the members who is planning to move to Florida before the next PEO meeting. I asked her how she was doing, and she said she was not doing well, that she was losing her husband who has dementia. I expressed concern and said that I would say an extra prayer for them. She responded by saying she would be praying for me too. Her look and the way she said it made it clear that she knows Kate’s situation as well. Previously I may have mentioned that Shirley Hazel probably knows because she had mentioned to me one time that Kate was having memory problems.

This brings to mind something that I have stated before and that is Kate doesn’t know how far along she is. She knows she is frustrated and finds herself less and less able to do routine things, but she still wants to make commitments or “plans for things in the future. After Thursday’s PEO meeting she told me that she had signed up for the program in December. That means she will host and present the program. At first I thought she might be thinking of doing a program on our trip to New Zealand, but she intends to do one on family Christmas traditions. I think that is one she will be able to do rather easily. It will also permit the other members to share their own family traditions. My point, however, is that she doesn’t begin to think that this task might be challenging for her at that time.

I also notice that she continues to be more apathetic about some things. For example, it wasn’t until this afternoon that she got her new clothes from Coldwater Creek out of the bag. In the past, she would have come right in and taken them out of the bag. She has gotten much better about washing clothes which has become “necessary” since losing our housekeeper. One thing she is not good about, however, is getting the clothes out of the washing machine and/or the dryer. This past week at least 3 days past after she had washed clothes that they were ready to be put up.

She is more irritable than she used to be. For example, as we were driving to lunch today, she said we need to go by a frame shop. I innocently asked why we needed to go there, and she got miffed and said, “Let’s not talk about it.” When we got home, I discovered that she wanted to stop by to look at a piece of artwork to go above the door from our family room into the hallway leading to our bedroom. I then recalled that she has mentioned that a number of times over the past year or more. She thought I should remember that even though she hardly ever mentions it.

On the other hand, I continue to find that she doesn’t make connections well. If we are talking about something or someone, and a few moments later I make a general reference like saying “she,” Kate doesn’t know who I am talking about.

We were with her brother, Ben, over the Christmas holiday. Everything went well. He went with us to Fort Worth where we went to Sadie’s Cafe for lunch, a cousin’s for dinner, and Sunday lunch with Naomi, a very dear friend of Kate’s mother. After dropping him off in New Braunfels and our heading back to Houston, Kate remarked at how smart Ken is and that she had a new appreciation for him. I like her feeling good about her brother and other people but sad that I think it comes because she finds herself so unable to do many things.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *