Moments of reality

Today Kate had an 8:45 am appointment with her primary doctor. Before going for my morning walk, I checked to see that she was awake and knew to get ready for her appointment. She was, and I turned on the TV to the Today Show.

When I returned, I found that she was up, had had her V8, and was eating her yogurt. This would have been about 7:40. She continued to get ready to go, and I reminded her that we would leave at 8:30. At 8:29, I told her it was time to go. She got frustrated with me and said harshly, “Just a minute.” After a few minutes I went into our bedroom where I could see that she was still not fully dressed. I reminded her we were to be there soon. Finally, at 8:45 she was ready but never hurried at all.

When we got to the doctor’s office, the receptionist indicated that we were late and that they would have to reschedule which we did (for a week from this Friday). I didn’t say anything. There was no need. Kate said she was sorry. When we pulled into our garage at home, I could see that she was depressed. I told her that it was all right, that this was a situation where the consequences were inconsequential. It was clear in reading her thoughts, however, that it really wasn’t the consequences she was worried about; she saw this as another sign of the progression of her AD.

At home, I got my things together to go to the office. I gave her a hug. We didn’t need words. We both understood the situation. I believe this is only a precursor to many more of these times. It may even be sadder when the AD prevents her from feeling low. I really don’t know which is worse. Now I am at the office and concerned that I should have stayed with her.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *