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What’s going on now.

Much of my observations have focused on specific instances of the progression of Kate’s AD or specific examples of her symptoms. Today I would l like to give a general appraisal of how things are going with Dad, Kate, and me. First, a comment on Dad.

After Dad returned from his most recent trip to the hospital with bleeding ulcers, he was incredibly lethargic for a few days. I’m not sure, but this may have been a result of the anesthesia he received before they performed the endoscopy that enabled them to diagnose his problem. Even now some 2 weeks later, he is not back to normal. The major symptom is that he is harder than usual to arouse when I visit him. Yesterday, he asked me if I could talk with the doctor to ask if it would be all right for him to sleep more because he didn’t want to get up. He thought he might be better off to sleep more. I talked with him about this at dinner. I told him he needed to get up it was good for him to get up and to eat and that he would deteriorate if he just stayed in bed all the time. He seemed to understand this and did not object.

Although he has for a long time had good days and bad days, it seems like he has greater swings recently. Some days I come home very upbeat over his condition. Other days I am low.

I am also noting more memory issues. He even forgets his speech therapist’s name sometimes, and she is a very special person to him. In fact, about 10 days ago, he remembered her husband’s name but couldn’t remember hers. He also slips on the name of his writing teacher as well as two members of his Sunday school class. He apparently had a dream recently about visiting the home of one of them. He seems to recall it was a very large house and that she has something to do with Mountain Valley. I think he may have been trying to convey that she was doing the laundry for Mountain Valley. Although he still talks about his upcoming birthday, he doesn’t seem to be as energized about it and is not making as many suggestions about things he wants done. This does not mean he has stopped completely.  The other day he told Larry that he wants to have name tags on each of the roses he distributes to the ladies. He also continues to surprise me by asking about my staff and Gordon Seacrest. He clearly has not withdrawn from the world around him.

Turning to Kate, I would have to say that she continues to get along pretty well even though she experiences some discouragement over her condition. I have always noted that the person (in this case, Kate) with AD knows far more than most people believe and experiences frustrations related to her condition. I am beginning to notice that she has less concern about some things that would have been an issue before. For as much as the past year or so, I have noticed that she does not notice spots on her clothing that would have bothered her before. When she rinses dishes, she does a horrible job. She seems less concerned about how she dresses. The other day we went out for lunch and she didn’t wear a bra. That’s something that she would never have done before.

She finds it even harder to accomplish various tasks. Last night while she was working on a Word file in preparation for a program she is doing for PEO next week, she was frustrated and said, “I just can’t do anything anymore.” This type of frustration is what, I believe, leads her to spend so much time puttering in the yard. She has been out there for almost 2 hours already this morning. Even though we are having hot weather, she goes out periodically during the day. She gets so hot and dirty that she comes in and takes a shower. Sometimes she takes as many as 3 showers a day though his is not typical. She as commented to me that she doesn’t know what she does when she is out there which is to say that she doesn’t believe she can recite a long list of things she has accomplished. Perhaps that is why I feel she just finds it something she is able to do without making any mistakes or having someone telling her she is not doing it the right way.

So how am I doing? Like Kate, I am doing well overall; however, I am having my own frustrations. For example, I have to be more attentive to her schedule and provide help in making sure she doesn’t miss appointments or commitments she has made. As I left Dad yesterday afternoon, I called her to remind her that she was going to meet me for supper at the church. Not surprisingly, she had forgotten even though we had talked about it, and I had reminded her before leaving to see Dad. She can completely forget things quickly.

This can be a particular problem in conversation. If we are talking about someone and a moment passes and I say, “I told him . . .” She will either look confused or ask, “Who?” Increasingly I feel the need to remind her of things, but she sometimes resents this.

The biggest issue for me is the responsibility of taking care of my own affairs while increasingly being responsible for her and for Dad’s. When I go to see Dad, I frequently forget some things – for example, take him bananas but forget to leave them, get him up and take him to the dining room but forget his box of Kleenex that he likes to have with him at all times. I have mentioned before that Kate committed to preparing a new edition of our neighborhood directory. If left to her, it will never get done. What has been done so far is what I have done or done with her. She doesn’t even mention working on it now. This morning I spent an hour entering or checking information. I am going to take a little at a time and get it done on my own. She has also said she would do a city-wide directory for PEO. I put all of the information she will need to do it in a single place. I fear now that she has misplaced it. This kind of thing goes on and on, and, of course, this is only the beginning.

One final comment. I am beginning to wonder if her medications are not actually helping. I say that because she is better now than I might have predicted 3 years ago. Perhaps we will have more good times ahead than I originally thought. That would be nice. At the moment, however, I am still looking at the first 6-8 months of 2014 as possibly the last great traveling moments for us. We leave for New Zealand on Feb. 11. We will also have another trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Chautauqua in Late June. We are also going to take Heather to New York during the summer. In addition, we will have the other grandchildren for a visit. I don’t know what our situation will be after that.

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How am I feeling?

In my comments in the previous post, I neglected to indicate how I am feeling about things right now. Let me try to quickly summarize this. On the whole, I am feeling all right as is Kate. We don’t dwell on her AD. We are enjoying being together. We are staying active – going to movies, theater, etc. We have learned to live somewhat comfortably with the reality that we are facing.

At the same time, I have to acknowledge that Kate in particular suffers frustration and some depression. It is not surprising that this is rougher on her than on me. She knows she is less and less able to do things that were easy for her in the past. I am having 2 reactions. One is sadness for her. I hate to see her suffer. I work hard to provide experiences that take her mind off of her lessening abilities. The second, however, is frustration with her and with myself. I have to admit that I am not always as patient I want to be. When I face a specific instance in which I fail to respond properly (with great understanding), I am frustrated with myself. I have often expressed this to her. Because she is for the most part normal, and because we have a long history together, I tend to treat her in the same way that I did years ago. Then I recognize that she is different now. She cannot help doing (or not doing) certain things. A typical situation would be that I have told her something that she has forgotten. I may say, “But I told you.” Then I recognize that telling her does not mean she will remember. Then I feel guilty. This actually puts an unusual burden on her because it adds one more instance in which she has done “something wrong.” This kind of thing happens a lot.

She doesn’t like me to give explanations nor does she like to give them herself. The other day she sent me an email asking if Taylor would be 10 on his birthday (today). I sent a reply saying yes. Then I started to give her what I thought would be an easy way for her to remember his age. After starting a sentence, I realized that she wouldn’t be able to understand what I was telling her.

One other issue I continue to have is planning for things that are months or even a year away. The biggest issues involve travel. We are looking at the possibility of a trip to New Zealand next year, perhaps January or February. If I felt there were challenging moments on the most recent trip to South America, what will things be like next year. Should I make plans? I face a conflict between arranging for her to make a trip that she has talked about for a long time versus the difficulty of our being able to handle it when the time comes.

Still the bottom line is that we are adapting well. I think the most depressing times for me lie ahead. How far ahead I don’t know.

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Sometimes it’s funny; sometimes it’s not.

The overriding response to AD is sadness, anger, depression, etc. – all things that we think of as negative. We’ve had our share of those things right from the beginning. I still remember the tears that came to my eyes when the doctor told Kate the diagnosis. Much of what I have reported involves the negative even though it is simply a report of something she has done that illustrates her condition.

On the other hand, we experience funny moments, or perhaps I should say, we don’t always react with sadness or depression. For example, yesterday Kate called me from her GYN’s office to say that she was through. We decided to meet at Bruegger’‘s for lunch. Her GYN’s office is on the same street as Bruegger’s. I had worried about Kate’s getting to her doctor’s office since she had not been in a good while. I had offered to lead the way for her. She declined and was able to get there without any problem. After we hung up, I thought I should have asked if she could get to Bruegger’s without any trouble. I didn’t; however, since we go there so regularly and it is on the same street as her doctor’s office. Nevertheless, I did worry a little and thought I might hear from her. I left home to meet her at the restaurant and noticed that she was not there when I arrived. I had a bad feeling but went in a started placing our order. While I was doing so, I got a call from her. She was frustrated. I asked where she was. She told me she was downtown near UT.  That meant that she not only did not simply drive on Taylor to the restaurant but that she had gone the opposite direction from the restaurant.

Anyway, I guided her over the phone, and she arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes later. When she arrived, she laughed about what she had done. This is not an uncommon reaction when she does something like this. I told her I was glad she could laugh about it. She then told me she had seen Ellen that morning. Ellen asked when we were going to South America. When she gave her answer (which she wouldn’t even tell me), Ellen said, “Oh, that’s right away.” Then she realized she had given the wrong answer. This is a very common occurrence. She has no idea when she has appointments, when or where we are going, etc. She and my dad both forget times and dates within moments of my telling them. They simply don’t register.

My point here is that sometimes we just laugh. I find that is good for both of us. We have enough of the more negative reactions. I am wondering what how we will react as time passes and things become more serious.

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So what’s it like after 2 years?

A week and a day ago marked two years since Kate’s diagnosis. I recall at that time how hard it was to fight back the tears when I heard the word. Since that time I have continued to wonder what things will be like in the next year. Or the year following. Or the year after that. Although I have continued to report the deterioration in her condition, she continues to get along well in many ways. I still believe that virtually no one suspects her AD. It is possible that Ellen may suspect, but Kate has never mentioned that possibility. The only person she has thought might suspect is her hairdresser and that because she has missed so many appointments. Now she gives me all her appointments (if she and I remember to do so). We both put them down on our calendars (our phone calendars).

The biggest toll is the one on Kate. She is regularly frustrated because of her inability to do even simple things. Last night she was frustrated over her Facebook page(s). Inadvertently, she created a new FB account. We hadn’t figured out how to delete the account, and I hadn’t taken the time to do so. I simply set it up so that the correct account was the default. For some unknown reason she has been able to get into the old account. I redid things that week, but she got back into the old account yesterday and requested a bunch of new friends who accepted. I suspect these were already friends on her “real” FB page. At any rate, she was frustrated and discouraged last night and said, “”I just can’t do anything anymore.” This is not far from the truth. My biggest concern in this respect is that she continues to get herself in situations that she may have difficulty getting out of. The neighborhood directory is a case in point. She is now working on being a volunteer tutor for a local high school. It is terrific that she wants to do these things, but she won’t be able to do them long or at all. Then she will feel frustrated.

I don’t say much about this, but I am watching her and my Dad go through the same journey. They both are quite similar in wanting me to go slowly with them. Neither one can process information quickly. Dad can’t follow long emails or videos. Kate is having a hard time following movies. It is common for her to leave a movie saying that she got so confused and that I will have to explain it to her. Sometimes the movie really is difficult to follow, but mostly it is her difficulty in following and understanding.

I want to repeat something that I have said a number of times before. Our relationship has been stronger than ever. My own attitude toward her is, I believe, the key difference. I have made a commitment to spend more time with her and to be patient with her. With respect to patience, I do not always meet my own expectations. I believe that is because she is so normal in most ways that I respond to her as though she is normal. When I stop to consider that all of the things that cause me to be impatient are not her fault at all but a function of her AD, I am able to understand. Ironically, then, I believe I will be more patient as she continues her decline. I feel the same way about Dad. I should add that Dad is further along on his journey, but there are many similarities between the two of them.

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Occasional Setbacks and “How am I?”

Thursday afternoon Kate took a call from the body shop that is repairing her car. They said her car was ready to be picked up and that the cost was just under $3,000. This is pretty close to their original estimate, but I had not told Kate how much it was going to be. She called me right away to let me know, and I could tell she was depressed. She had no idea what it was going to run. That has continued through today and has been reflected in a little irritability. I believe she is coming out of it though. When I returned from the grocery store about 15 minutes ago, she said she wanted to tell me she loved me. I considered that an apology for her mood the past couple of days.

In my previous post I was intending to say how each of us is getting along as we approach the second anniversary of our receiving the official news that she has AD. I believe I conveyed how she is getting along but ran out of time before commenting on my adjustment. Here it is.

On the whole I am doing well. I have made many adjustments. Among those has been accepting things that she does that are not the way I would do them (the way she loads the dishwasher, or leaves dirty dishes on the counter without rinsing). It also includes responding to her wishes more quickly. Things that I would have tried to explain, I don’t. That is because she stops me. It is amazing how many times she stops me during a given day. She simply says, “Let’s not discuss it.” I immediately drop the subject.

Thinking of my actions, I believe I am doing very well. On the other hand, I do feel the stress involved in taking care of Dad and Kate. It is remarkable how similar some of their symptoms are. One example is their desire not to discuss anything that I want to discuss or hear more about or to have them explain. I interpret this as occurring because the condition of their brains does not enable them to do it. The simplest things can cause problems; so explaining why she wants something or did something is just too difficult, really impossible.

The other things that cause more stress than I am accustomed to involve the sheer amount of time required to take care of them. For that reason I get behind on other things like returning phone calls, paying bills, or completing other tasks.

I am taking more time away from the office and will probably stop going in every morning in the next few months. That will give me even less time to do the various things I need to do for myself or to run the household, but I will be able to spend more time directly helping Kate. Her condition has given me much appreciation for the need for two people to run a household. Since I am doing it all, I am always hopping.

The last thing I would say is that my mood goes up and down. Sometimes I feel very good. At other times I am low. That is directly related to my experiences with Kate as well as Dad. I come home visiting Dad worn out from trying so hard to please him and discovering that it doesn’t appear to make any difference.

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New Year: So where are we? How is she? How am I?

I started to entitle this entry “Emotions change quickly” but thought that since it is the beginning of a new year some reflection is appropriate. Both things are intertwined.

Just yesterday I sent the following email to Tom and Carl, two email buddies whom I have kept up with since college days at TCU. Neither of them knows about Kate’s AD.

As I suggested in my previous post, each of us is approaching the stage of life with a different set of experiences and situations. I have never been a workaholic, but my job has necessarily required time apart from Kate. I used to travel a lot. I was reminded of this the other day when I noted that I have travelled only 23,000 miles this year. At one time I was travelling over 100,000 miles a year. That’s how I got to 3,000,000 with Delta. I must have flown 500,000 with US Air. Kate never complained. She actually likes alone time, and I think we were together just about as much as she wanted. Now that we have reached this stage, I just feel the need to make the most of whatever time we have left. That is why I have put as much emphasis on our 50th anniversary as I have done. I have also tried to attend as many social and cultural events as possible. We do about as much as we are comfortable doing. Sometimes it is just nice to be at home.

For me this is as much about attitude change as it is about just being together. I mean there is a difference when we are together. For example, as I finished the paragraph above, she came in to ask if I could build a fire. In the past I would have done it, but I might have thought, “Gee, we just had a fire each of the last 2 days. Do we really need another one today?” Instead I immediately started working on a fire that she will enjoy the rest of the afternoon until we go to dinner. Another way of expressing it is that I make more of an effort to make her happy than I did for a good bit of our married life. The great news is that I find that we are enjoying each other more than we did in the past. That’s saying something because we have always had a good marriage. Now it is almost like we are on a honeymoon. We don’t take each other for granted. Enough said.

Of course, this leaves a lot unsaid because I don’t want them to know just yet about Kate’s diagnosis. It also emphasizes how quickly my feelings can change. Yesterday I sensed that Kate was somewhat depressed. When I got home from visiting Dad, she was almost asleep on the sofa in the family room. We talked a little before dinner, ate at home, and went to bed. During the night she had some problems with diarrhea. This has been a chronic issue for her for some time; however it has gotten worse in the past 6-12 months. This made me think about her continuing inability to function effectively when doing a lot of tasks and what things will be like as she gets worse. It also made me think about our upcoming trip to Peru and Ecuador. I understand that almost everyone gets diarrhea on this trip. Will this be especially difficult for her? I don’t know. I hope that we will be able to take medicine that will help us. She has two doctors’ appointments coming up soon. One is with Dr. Reasoner, the other with Dr. Edwards. She also had a bad bout with acid reflux night two nights ago. I ended up calling the doctor on call at Dr. Reasoner’s office. He recommended she take Gravascon or Mylanta which we have bought subsequent to my call. My point in going through this is to say we can be up at one moment and down at another. My mood depends heavily on how I believe she is feeling.

So how is she doing? On the whole, I would say she is doing well. I think she would say the same. On the other hand, we both see signs of greater difficulty doing lots of things. I get the impression that she is sometimes just in a daze. On simple tasks like entering a new name in her contact list or an item on her calendar, she asks me to give her just one thing at a time. I can’t say, “”We are going to the Bijou on Thursday at 8:00.” That is too much information at one time. Another indication of how difficult it can be for her to do things involves her hair appointment. She missed one while we were in Tom for Christmas, and her hair dresser asked her to schedule a new appointment when we returned. I have been asking all week if she had done it, and she hadn’t. Last night I asked her if she would like me to call and make the appointment. She quickly said yes as though a load was lifted from her.

At dinner on New Year’s eve, she made a gentle reference to her AD, but we did not discuss it. It is clear, however, that she sees herself having more trouble. She does not believe her time is as short as I believe it is. She continues to talk about taking each of the grandchildren to NYC when they are 13. That would be the summer of 2014 for Heather and 2016 for the twins, and 2017 for Taylor. I am not even sure 2014 will work out. Kate certainly would be able to travel, but based on our recent trip to NYC, she requires a lot of help. (I have even thought we might consider taking Heather to NY this summer instead.) That said, I believe it is good that Kate does not believe the trips won’t work out. This would depress her.

Going to have to close now. I will deal with how I am doing in the next post.

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Imagining the Future

While I believe I am living in the present much more than I ever did, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think about the future. Yesterday as I walked down the hall to see Dad, I passed by several of the residents that I see every day and thought “that is what Kate will be like some day.” Rarely do I actually get an image or even think of her in that condition. What is normal is for me to simply try to do things now since we may not be able to enjoy things in the same way some time in the future. The best example of that is my plans for travel in the next 8-9 months. We will be in Fort Worth November 1-5 where we will celebrate our 50th TCU class reunion. Dec. 5-12 we will be in New York. Feb. 24-March 16 we travel to Peru and then the Galapagos Islands. June 13-22 we will be in Jackson Hole with our children and their families. Finally we will make our annual trip to Chautauqua July 18-27 with a 2-night stay in Niagara-on-the-Lake. I am looking at these trips as a celebration of our 50th wedding anniversary that occurs May 31.

All of this takes money, more money than we receive in income; so what that means is dipping into our reserves. Over our entire married life, we have rarely done this. My justification for doing it now involves my concern that after next year, I am not sure how much special travel will be in the cards for us. I hope that Kate will continue to appear normal to others a year from now, but I am suspecting that the children might notice something different about her when we spend a week together next summer. I also am wondering how many more times we will take care of the grandchildren. If I have to take care of them and her, that may be a problem.

Kate’s short term memory continues to worsen. She tries to write down all of her obligations and to share them with me so that I can remind her. We are doing a good job with respect to her hair appointments. She is now making her next appointment at the time she goes for an appointment. Then she gives it to me, and I put it on my calendar. I don’t put down everything and don’t always remember to remind her. Last Friday, for example, she was to meet a PEO sister to interview a candidate for a scholarship or grant. We had talked about it on a couple of occasions. It turns out that I got in a rush and didn’t remind her of the appointment although she had remembered it that morning. That evening when I asked her how it had gone, she was shocked as she realized she had forgotten to go. This kind of thing on a less important scale happens daily.

I am gradually taking over more and more responsibilities in connection with here tasks. She still works on the computer, iPhone, and iPad, but she needs help with many things she does on these pieces of equipment. If she accepts some responsibility like arranging refreshments for our music club, I feel I need to make sure that it gets done. Early last week she finished and sent Brian a pictorial account of our trip to NYC in July. It is something she should have finished rather quickly, but it takes her a long time. She revises and revises and then she forgets about it for a while. The same is true with other photo albums she is working on for us. The good news is that it does give her something useful to do, and there really is no deadline.

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The State of Our Lives

Yesterday Andy Griffith died. His passing took both Kate and me back. His show was in its heyday when I was a student at UW in Madison. We always love him and the characters around him. The way I expressed it to Kate he was a “marker” in our lives, one of those people and events that were significant to us.

At the moment we are in a period where we have both settled into recognition of Kate’s condition and do not belabor it, but it isn’t that we don’t think about it. In fact, it still hangs over everything we do. Not a day goes by without multiple times thinking in some way of Kate’s diagnosis. For me, in particular, I find myself both remembering and forgetting (or acting as though I have forgotten). Let me clarify this last comment. Although I know she can’t remember things, I find myself asking her things that require greater memory than she has. For example, yesterday she couldn’t find a pair of shoes she wears when she is working in the yard. This morning I noticed that she was wearing them and said, “I see you found your shoes, where were they?” She answered, “I don’t remember.” I don’t believe that this comment alone creates a problem, but it occurs so often that I feel it is a constant reminder to both of us that she is losing her memory. It is amazing how many times we ask these kinds of questions in the course of a normal day. “How did you . . .” “What did you do . . .” “Why did you . . .”

On Tuesday of this week I received a call from an attorney that State Farm has provided for us in a lawsuit against us for an accident that I had coming back from Memphis in March 2009. I am to give my deposition on July 13, and the attorney said that the plaintiff’s attorney had requested that Kate be deposed as well. I said ok somewhat hesitantly. After hanging up, I had 2 concerns. First, is that Kate is uncomfortable being pressed to explain herself. For example, when I ask her how she solved a computer problem, she will usually say, “Don’t ask me” which I take to mean it is stressful for her to try to explain, and she probably is not able to do so. The result is that I try not to press her to explain anything. My earlier comments above acknowledge that I often fail at this. She is quick to tell me when I am pressing her, and then I stop quickly.

The second concern is that in her attempt to explain herself, she gets confused and gives inconsistent information. I was afraid that the plaintiff’s attorney would take advantage of this. That led to my talking with Kate about the attorney’s request. She suggested I tell the attorney about her Alzheimer’s and that we could provide a doctor’s statement if needed. I called the attorney back, and he accepted my suggestion although he did indicate that we may need the doctor’s statement.

One question one might ask is, “Is her condition getting noticeably worse?” The answer is it depends on the period of time with which you compare her present condition. I would say she is noticeably worse than she was a year and a half ago when we got the diagnosis. I can’t say that I notice a difference in the past 6 months. What I do see is her working harder to minimize her frustrations. For example, she had agreed to solicit our neighbors for contributions to the Alzheimer’s Association. She hasn’t done it and told me yesterday that she would need my help to get her started or she would never do it. I also interpret her growing interest in tending to her plants relates to the fact they don’t talk back, ask her questions, or provide other frustrations. She is simply able to do what she can. If she does less than she intended, there are no great negative consequences. The only critical thing is to keep everything watered.

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Being Forgiving/Understanding

Since Kate’s diagnosis, I have come to view most of her behavior in a completely different light. Being someone with more than a few OCD tendencies, I found myself annoyed by many things, all of them unimportant. These would include little things like the way she loads the dishwasher, misplacing the remotes, etc. I wish that I had always been so understanding as I am learning to be now.

I find myself thinking about the future, our relationship, and how life will be changing. This is especially true when I attend a funeral service. Something similar happens when we are attending happier events. For example, we recently attending the wedding of a close friend. I kept reflecting on our own wedding and the happy times we have had over the years.

A very different kind of event the other night also led to a feeling of sadness for her. She recently learned about a conversational Spanish class offered at a branch of the library near us. She went to the first class by herself. A few minutes after the class had started, she called me to come over. I did. We went to Chalupas for dinner. She told me that she was feeling intimidated and wanted me in the class because I speak a little Spanish. It saddens me every time I observe her insecurity that arises because so many things are difficult for her.

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Symptoms from Kate and Dad

After lunch this past Saturday, Kate went to Lavender, her favorite dress shop. I stayed at home. As I was on the way to see Dad, I got a call from her. She asked where I was and sounded disappointed when I said I was on I-77 almost to Dad’s nursing facility. I asked what she needed, and she said she couldn’t find her car. I asked her a number of questions trying to help her remember but took an exit and went to meet her at my office. When I was a couple of blocks from Lavender’s, I saw her car in the parking lot of a restaurant. When I picked her up, I told her I had good news that I had found the car. It was only then that she recalled that she had gone to a shop down the street looking at clothing to take on our trip to Africa. She was clearly discouraged by this lapse.

Although I started this document with Kate in mind, I am going to make an observation regarding Dad as well. In many respects, his condition plays a significant role in my relationship with Kate and how she feels about things. For quite a while I have gotten phone calls from Dad in the middle of the night. I am not alone. He sometimes calls my brother as well as several of his friends. He told me that he had called one of his buddies just after midnight last week.

At any rate, Dad called me at 2:33 yesterday morning. He told me that he was in West Palm Beach at the Shrine Club. I suggested that perhaps he had had a dream, but he couldn’t seem to hear well which is pretty normal. He placed 3 calls to me around 5:25. Each time he left a voicemail message saying that I didn’t need to come get him that he was at his nursing home.

On at least 2 occasions, he has called to let me know that he thought this was the end, that he was completely blind, and that he had had a wonderful life and wanted to thank me. Each time I have tried to reassure him and told him I was going to plan on seeing him later in the day. When I finally see him after these calls, he always remembers making them and even seems to take some pleasure in them.

For Kate, I am sure this causes some pain as well as amusement. I know she must be thinking of what she is going to be like as her AD progresses.