Author: Richard Creighton

Just a quick update since the last entry. Last week for the first time, I found myself being a little bit bothered by Kate’s forgetfulness. In addition to the usual things that happen, phone misplaced, plans forgotten, etc., two small things actually led to my not being understanding the way I have been. What I mean is that I intellectually understood, but I was emotionally bothered anyway. Here is what happened.

First, she didn’t make any effort to get ready for the visit of our friends, the Robinsons, this past Wednesday. Normally, she might work to get the house in the best shape possible. She arranged for the person who helps her with landscaping to come over at 10:00 that morning even though the Robinsons were due to arrive between 11:00 and 11:30. Then she stayed outside working with her longer than I thought she should have. I went out at 10:30 just to remind her of the time and that they were coming as early as 30 minutes from now. She ultimately came in closer to 11:00. She wanted to scoop up some things that were in the family room and dump them on the floor and chairs in our bedroom and to close the bedroom door. I told her I felt it looked better to have the door open. She accepted that and put things in our bathroom and closed that door.

The other thing involved her completing a letter of recommendation for a local college student’s application to PEO for a scholarship for the fall. This is something she was supposed to do at least 2 weeks ago. She was going to do this before her PEO meeting on Thursday morning. The first complication she ran into was that her computer “died.” That meant she needed to use mine. Her time ran short. She decided not to go to PEO and to come to my office to work on the letter. It took her almost until lunch to get to the office. Then I was going to lunch and she went with me with plans to work on the letter after lunch which she did. I left to go see Dad around 4:00. When I got home after 6:00, she was not there. I called and reached her on her cell at the office. She was still working. When she was ready to leave, she couldn’t fine her purse. I suggested she call the restaurant where we had eaten lunch. She did so and got the purse. (The week before she misplaced her primary car keys and is now using one of the backups that I had made the last time she had lost her key).

Although I thought the letter was essentially finished and all she needed to do was mail it, she worked at the office Friday afternoon. She needed help getting it printed and checked and rechecked the letter and the student’s written statement of need. She found this difficult and was very frustrated. I said that in the future she might try to minimize her doing things like this. She said she had been thinking the same thing. This is another recognition of the impact of AD. By that point, I found myself more sympathetic and haven’t felt anything but acceptance of the situation since.

This past Thursday, Kate had a bad day. I had realized it in the afternoon sometime when we spoke on the phone but didn’t know what was wrong. When I got home from seeing Dad, she was lying down on the bed with the TV on. She didn’t want to talk at first and I backed off. Ultimately, she, of her own volition, told me that she thought her hairdresser “knows.”

I seem to recall that she had missed an appointment on Tuesday and this was a rescheduled appointment on Thursday. Instead of seeming to be annoyed, they were very understanding and kind. When she left, they said something like, “We love you.” Over the past few years, they have become accustomed to her missing a fair number of appointments. She suspects that they are just now putting it together. She was down only that day and evening. She seemed fine the next day.

In the meantime, she continues to show signs of forgetfulness. This most commonly involves the misplacing of something – her phone or something else. I am facing this from 2 sides , Kate and Dad. He is regularly “losing” something at his nursing facility. Typically he can’t find his phone. That happened over the weekend, but he found it in his top drawer. Yesterday when I started to put his bridge in his mouth before dinner, it was missing. I decided the dentist had come by and taken it to make an adjustment since I had left a message for this yesterday morning. As it turned out, Doris, who washed Dad’s clothes yesterday, found his bridge in one of his pants pockets. On the way to dinner last night, Kate told me that was the good news. The bad news was that she can’t find it. She looked all over. This morning she called Doris who told her she was sitting in a chair in the bedroom when she had given her the bridge. Kate went to the chair and looked all around it and found it on the floor.

Just as typical are the issues with the computer. She can’t seem to understand and recall how she downloads books from the computer to her Nano. I feel confident other things are happening with the family album she is working on. It is bound to be taking her longer to complete it because of this.

We are having lunch together today and going out to a benefit tonight. I try to keep us as active as possible and we have been more active since the diagnosis. In the next 10 days or so before we leave for Scotland, we have several events. I like to think this is good for her.