My Own Moments of Frustration

Just a quick update since the last entry. Last week for the first time, I found myself being a little bit bothered by Kate’s forgetfulness. In addition to the usual things that happen, phone misplaced, plans forgotten, etc., two small things actually led to my not being understanding the way I have been. What I mean is that I intellectually understood, but I was emotionally bothered anyway. Here is what happened.

First, she didn’t make any effort to get ready for the visit of our friends, the Robinsons, this past Wednesday. Normally, she might work to get the house in the best shape possible. She arranged for the person who helps her with landscaping to come over at 10:00 that morning even though the Robinsons were due to arrive between 11:00 and 11:30. Then she stayed outside working with her longer than I thought she should have. I went out at 10:30 just to remind her of the time and that they were coming as early as 30 minutes from now. She ultimately came in closer to 11:00. She wanted to scoop up some things that were in the family room and dump them on the floor and chairs in our bedroom and to close the bedroom door. I told her I felt it looked better to have the door open. She accepted that and put things in our bathroom and closed that door.

The other thing involved her completing a letter of recommendation for a local college student’s application to PEO for a scholarship for the fall. This is something she was supposed to do at least 2 weeks ago. She was going to do this before her PEO meeting on Thursday morning. The first complication she ran into was that her computer “died.” That meant she needed to use mine. Her time ran short. She decided not to go to PEO and to come to my office to work on the letter. It took her almost until lunch to get to the office. Then I was going to lunch and she went with me with plans to work on the letter after lunch which she did. I left to go see Dad around 4:00. When I got home after 6:00, she was not there. I called and reached her on her cell at the office. She was still working. When she was ready to leave, she couldn’t fine her purse. I suggested she call the restaurant where we had eaten lunch. She did so and got the purse. (The week before she misplaced her primary car keys and is now using one of the backups that I had made the last time she had lost her key).

Although I thought the letter was essentially finished and all she needed to do was mail it, she worked at the office Friday afternoon. She needed help getting it printed and checked and rechecked the letter and the student’s written statement of need. She found this difficult and was very frustrated. I said that in the future she might try to minimize her doing things like this. She said she had been thinking the same thing. This is another recognition of the impact of AD. By that point, I found myself more sympathetic and haven’t felt anything but acceptance of the situation since.