Mixture of Positive and Negative Experiences

About 10:00 yesterday morning, I heard Kate say, “Hello.” Via my web cam, I could see that she was sitting up in bed. When I got to the bedroom, I found she was in a cheerful mood but was having another delusion. The only thing I could understand was that it involved teaching in some way. I listened to her for almost thirty minutes before seeing if she was ready to get up. She wasn’t and let her lie down and told her to call me if she needed anything.

At noon, I checked to see if she was ready to get up. I was careful not to move too quickly so as not to cause her to resist. I was able to get her up and to the bathroom where I encountered my first problem. She wouldn’t sit on the toilet. I shifted gears and told her she could brush her teeth. When she finished, I tried again to get her to use the toilet. That didn’t work, and I took her back to the bedroom to help her dress.

When I asked her to take off her soiled underwear, she refused. She wanted to know why. I explained that she needed to put on clean underwear before getting dressed. She never agreed. Then she wanted to lie down. I decided the break might be a better. If she could rest of sleep a little longer, she might respond differently when I tried again.

That worked. I was able to get her up at 1:30. I didn’t have any problem getting her to the toilet and dressed. She was in good humor at lunch. After lunch we spent the balance of the day until time for dinner looking at her photo books. It was a very bright spot in our day.

This is not to say there were no problems. I don’t think I have adequately conveyed how difficult it is for her to understand instructions and explanations or the seriousness of her vision problems. When I gave her a sandwich and a cup of apple sauce, she didn’t know what they were or what she was to do with them. My explanations were only minimally effective. I was only able to get her to eat her sandwich by picking it up and putting it to her mouth. It was similar with the apple sauce. In that case, she only ate what I spoon fed her and nothing more. Part of the reason is that she doesn’t remember what is in front of her, but it also relates to not seeing it.

We ate out for dinner. After parking, she didn’t want to get out of the car to enter the restaurant. She didn’t respond with a verbal refusal but a passive aggressive one. She just sat in her seat while I held the door open with my hand extended to assist her. It took my repeated encouragement to get her to step out.

As we entered the restaurant, we turned to the right to walk past a line of booths. I had already turned down a seat at one of them because there is a step up of about four inches. When I can, I try to avoid things like that because Kate can easily trip. I didn’t think about a problem as we turned to follow the hostess to our table. Her right foot hit the corner of the first booth, and she screamed. She wasn’t in danger of falling, but she was frightened and definitely got the attention of those in the dining room.

We did not have our normally pleasant dinner. She was rather subdued and out of touch with what was happening around her or in front of her on the table. As I always do, I buttered her bread and placed it in front of her. When I saw that she wasn’t eating it, I asked her about it. She couldn’t see the bread on her plate. Similarly, she didn’t begin to eat her food after it was delivered. I had to feed her several bites of her entrée  to get her started. We haven’t been eating many desserts lately. I decided she might need a treat and ordered one. She didn’t know what to do with it. Again, I had to feed her the first couple of bites. She expressed no pleasure and ate very little.

Once we were home, I gave her a photo book to look at while I caught some of the evening news and then my shower. She took interest and spent almost an hour looking at it. She was confused, however, and asked me to help her understand it when I got out of the shower. I told her I would be happy to do that.  After my shower, I suggested she get into her night clothes and the two of us could look at it together.

She was cooperative. I don’t think that had anything to do with my telling her I would look through the book with her. I think I just hit her in a cooperative moment. We spent about thirty minutes looking at the book. Like our afternoon, it was a Happy Moment together. When I suggested we go to bed, she accepted without a problem.

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