Over the past three days, Kate has displayed a variety of symptoms that illustrate how active her brain is even if it isn’t working the way it is supposed to. It began Friday morning when she experienced the kind of fright that kept her in bed all day a couple of times in the last three weeks.
Based on the previous experiences, I decided I would be more relaxed this time. When she said she didn’t want to get up, I lay down in bed and talked with her a few minutes. I had already put on some music. She liked it and asked me not to talk so that she could hear it. We listened a little while, and she began to perk up. That made me think getting her up might be easy. I was wrong. She told me she was scared. When I asked what she was scared of, she said she didn’t know. I remained in bed until she appeared to be asleep. Then I took a seat in a chair beside the bed.
I decided not to worry about our having lunch together. The sitter could do that. Half an hour before the sitter arrived, I told Kate the sitter was coming and wondered if she would rather that I or the sitter help her get up for the day. She said she would prefer that I do it. That was two hours from the time I had started to wake her.
She was able to get up without a problem and was ready when Cindy arrived. Kate thought I was going with them and gave me a disapproving look when I told her I wasn’t, but she didn’t say anything. I helped her into Cindy’s car, and they were off.
We went to a different pizza place that night. The hostess asked if we wanted a table or booth. Kate has been having trouble sliding across the seat of a booth, so I requested a table. Before we sat down, Kate said she didn’t like the table and pointed to a nearby booth. That’s the first time I recall her indicating a preference. I went back to the hostess stand and asked for that booth.
I almost always take her to the bathroom at home before going out but had not done so this time. Right after the server took our order, Kate wanted to go to the restroom. I asked the hostess if it was a restroom for one-person knowing that is better in terms of my going with her. She said it had three stalls. I discretely explained that Kate has Alzheimer’s, and I like to help her. She checked and found no one was in there. She said she would watch for anyone else who might want to use it. I accompanied her, and all went well. I was relieved. I feel much better when we can take care of toileting at home.
Back at our booth, Kate was concerned someone was out to get her. I asked who, but she didn’t know. She didn’t say anything more and quickly forgot. The balance of the day went well.
At 2:30 Saturday morning, she woke up and wanted to know what she should do. I told her it was the middle of the night, that she had no obligations and could relax and go back to sleep. We went through a number of variations on the same question and answer for about fifteen minutes before she went back to sleep.
At 5:00, she was awake again and wanted to go to the bathroom. I got up to help her, but she changed her mind. We talked for a short time before we were both asleep. We were going to a luncheon following a funeral mass for someone we know from our music nights at Casa Bella. I was concerned that I might have difficulty getting her ready. She surprised me as I began my morning walk. I saw that she was getting up. I went to her and found that she was wide awake. We made a trip to Panera and returned home where she rested.
While resting, she chuckled a good bit. When I asked what was so funny, she said, “You know.” A little later, she said, “Don’t you like the ‘try.’” I had no idea what was so funny or what she meant by “try.” Her confusion with words is getting worse. The easiest one for me to understand is “shows” for shoes. Sometimes she uses “shows” for socks.
I was a little concerned about the luncheon because I expected a crowd of people she wouldn’t know. That turned out not to be a problem. We were seated with two people we have known for a long time. Of course, Kate did not remember them, but she handled things well. She did ask a lot of questions that were obvious signs of her memory problems. These involved asking the name of the restaurant several times while sitting with the daughter of the woman whose mother opened the restaurant eighty years ago. We have been sitting her three nights a month for six years. The people at our table were very understanding.
It was very noisy. At first, that startled Kate, but she quickly adapted. When we left, she said she had enjoyed it. I was surprised because it was just the kind of situation I try to avoid because it can be so hard for her.
When we returned home, she wanted to rest again. After a while, I noticed that she was uneasy. I asked if there was anything I could do to help her. She said there was and began a lengthy conversation similar to others we have had. She was worried about a young man. She said that I know him, but she couldn’t think of his name. I tried guessing. That didn’t help.
What I learned was that she wanted to offer some financial help to this man. As she talked, she moved from talking about this specific man to a program to help promising boys and girls who did not have the financial resources to enable them to continue their education after high school.
She wanted my advice. This was very much like a recent middle-of-the-night conversation. She talked about helping people in her hometown of Fort Worth and was concerned about locating young people and a person or organization to administer the program. I gave her several ideas, and she asked if I would coordinate everything. I agreed, and she felt better about.
There is more, but I will continue in another post.