Alzheimer’s Doesn’t Know It’s a Holiday, But We Do.

Kate and I talk a lot about the many things for which we are grateful. We’ll do more of that today. Let me say first that I am grateful to those of you who take time to read my often rambling accounts of our lives. I hope it provides an accurate glimpse of what “Living with Alzheimer’s” is like for us and that you may be gaining a little insight into the world of Alzheimer’s. The overriding message for us is how well we have gotten along. That easily claims first place among the things for which I feel most fortunate. I only wish that could be true for everyone who lives with this disease, but I am very mindful that others face far greater challenges than we have.

I am grateful for the kindness of family, friends and acquaintances who provide support, often without realizing it. I have also been touched by those who serve us in restaurants and customers in places we visit. Just this week I took Kate to the restroom at lunch. I’m always a little concerned in these situations because she has on several occasions locked a door to the stall or the restroom itself and been unable to open it. Sometimes she doesn’t know where to go once she is in the restroom or how to find the exit door. That day I opened the door and peaked in to see if anyone else might be in there. A lady was washing her hands. I pointed Kate in the direction of the stall and told her I would be right outside the door. It wasn’t long before the door opened and the lady who had been washing her hands invited me in. She told me she was a nurse and would stay with Kate. That wasn’t the first time people have helped in that situation. Little gestures like that have made the road smoother for us, at least emotionally.

It is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, and the today’s temperature will be in the low 60s. I look forward to this day with Kate. It will be the first we celebrate alone. Now don’t feel sorry for us. We will certainly miss being with family, but it will be easier on both of us that we are not traveling or hosting this year. I have an increasing recognition that our time together is limited, and I treasure the good times that we have when it is just the two of us.

Now let me segue to another aspect of our lives. Although we have many “Happy Moments,” they vacillate with more trying ones. Thus far, we have been able to handle each one of those. That includes one we had early this morning.

At 3:00, Kate said, “How do I get inside?” I said, “You’re inside right now. You’re in your own bed.” She wasn’t buying that. She asked again. I said told her I would show her but that it was the middle of the night and thought it would be better to do that in the morning. That wasn’t of any help. Then I told her I would show her. The first stop was the bathroom. Then we walked hand-in-hand through the bedroom, down the hallway outside our room, into the family room and kitchen, stopping in the laundry room. During our walk I tried to comfort her. She kept asking if we were going inside. I assured her that I was taking her inside. I turned her around and we walked back to our bedroom where I helped her into bed.

As I pulled the covers over her, she said, “You’re not going to leave me, are you?” I told her I would never leave her and that I would be right there on the other side of her. When I turned around to walk to the other side of the bed, she must have thought I was leaving. She said, “Don’t leave me.” She seemed very frightened. That didn’t stop immediately. I got into bed, moved close to her, and put my arms around her. She gradually felt at ease. By that time it was about 4:10. She was quiet until 4:30 when she asked again not to leave her. I assured her I wouldn’t, and I didn’t hear anything more from her. I think I went to sleep pretty shortly after that. I know I slept until 6:50 which is unusually late for me, but I know I needed it.

My best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving to each of you.