Another Social Experience

Kate and I are in Nashville today where we plan to meet our friend, Ellen, who is in a memory facility here. Because Kate sleeps so late in the morning, we came yesterday afternoon to have dinner and spend the night before our visit this afternoon. I have found that works better than rushing her in the morning so that we can make it a day trip.

For the second time in two weeks, I had arranged to meet another Twitter friend, Joan, who lives on the east side of Nashville. We met at a Cracker Barrel about 3:15 and chatted for a little over an hour before going to our hotel. I am glad to say this was another social situation in which Kate was quite at ease and talkative. It was as though she had been yearning to talk with someone and found a good listener. Once she started, it was hard for her to stop. It was good to see her so engaged in conversation.

As I reflect, I think there were several things that made our meeting such a success. First, there was just one other person with us. That meant there was no distracting conversation that can occur when there are four or more people. Second, the way we were seated lent itself to more conversation between Kate and my friend. When we took our seats, I deliberately put Kate directly across the table from Joan. I sat beside Kate. Third, Joan is a very warm, friendly person. She immediately gave her attention to Kate who became a key person in the conversation. Fourth, one of the good things about initial meetings like this one is that people discover things they have in common. It wasn’t long before we learned that Joan had been a librarian. That opened the door for Kate to talk about her own experience in the field.

Since Joan and I have been Twitter friends, I would have enjoyed talking more with her about her own experience as a caregiver as well as her blog. I was glad, however, to let that go in order for Kate to have such a good experience.

There were a couple of other things worth noting. One is how well Kate was able to communicate without having a memory to draw on. Of course, that means that some of the things she said weren’t really true. For the most part, Joan probably didn’t notice though I did. Much of the conversation didn’t require much in the way facts. Kate could talk about her feelings for her work and her family.

The other thing is that Kate’s Texas pride has increased substantially in the past few years. As we were walking out, someone overhead Joan’s voice and asked where she was from. When she said, “Nashville,” the man told her she didn’t sound like it. Then she said she was originally from Long Island. That began a somewhat more extended conversation between the two of them. While they were talking, Kate tried to interrupt them to ask the man to guess where she was from. It was very much like what a child might do. I got her to hold back for a minute. When she finally asked her question, he said, “Where?” She couldn’t remember. I was standing behind her and whispered, “Fort Worth, Texas.” She repeated it in perfect timing. He might not have noticed her slip.

I was very glad that we stopped to meet Joan. My own purpose was to meet face to face with a woman I had known only through brief tweets. The bonus, like our meeting two weeks ago, was seeing how much Kate enjoyed herself.

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