A Case of Caregiver Error

I feel like I do a good job caring for Kate, but like everyone, I make mistakes along the way. That happened yesterday. In an earlier post I mentioned that I was going to my doctor’s office for my labs prior to an appointment next week. I knew I needed to allow sufficient time to get Kate ready without rushing her. Since she had gone to bed at 7:30 the night before, I hoped it would be easy to get her up. I was wrong about that. The big problem, however, is that I was writing a post yesterday morning and let time get away from me. I looked up and saw that it was almost 9:30, and we needed to leave shortly after 10:00 in order to be on time. I went to the bedroom. Kate was sleeping soundly. I tried to be very careful in waking her. I didn’t want her to feel rushed. I sat down on the bed and put my and on her shoulder. When she looked up at me, I told her I was sorry to wake her and explained why I was doing it anyway. She didn’t say much and made no effort to get up. When it was just before 10:00, I told her I really needed her to get up, so she did.

The problem then was that she had a mild panic attack. It has been a long time since this has happened. This reminded me of why I work so hard to avoid rushing. I think the problem is that she wants to please me. When she has to rush, she can’t think clearly at all and panics. In this case, she appealed to me for help. She wanted my help getting her out of bed. She held my hand all the way to the bathroom. She wanted to shower but didn’t know what to do. I helped her and then walked her back to the bedroom to dress.

We were ready to go by 10:30. It had only been an hour since I first tried to wake her. That was a record, but it came at her expense. I felt bad about it. She was calm when we left the house. I apologized to her on the way to the doctor. By then, she had forgotten everything. She tried to make me feel better. She said I hadn’t rushed her at all. She was just fine. I appreciated that. I still felt bad because I could have avoided the whole thing.

The rest of the day went well. The Bluefish Grill is located near the doctor’s office, so we went there for lunch. When we got home, we had about thirty minutes before Kate’s appointment for a massage. After that we spent a couple of hours at home. She was tired and asked if she could take a nap and wanted to know where she should go. I told her I would be in the family room and suggested she join me and rest on the sofa. She rested until it was time for us to leave for opera night at Casa Bella. It was a good night for music and conversation. It was decorated for Christmas, and everyone seemed to be in the Christmas spirit. The crowd was a good bit louder than usual but was respectfully quiet during the program. We both had a good time and went to bed right after returning home. It wasn’t another night of “pillow talk.”