I got home from my morning walk at 8:00 and went to the pool to meditate. When I came into the house, I noticed that Kate had gotten up. I went back to our bathroom where I had everything prepared for her shower but found that she had not used our shower. I decided to let her get ready at her own pace and went back to the kitchen. Just before 8:45, I went back to check on her. She was walking into the family room dressed for the day. I was quite surprised for two reasons. First, She rarely gets up before 9:00 and recently been sleeping until after 10:00, often after 10:30. Second, it usually take her an hour and a half to get ready. I didn’t see any signs that she had taken a shower. That, too, is very unusual.
As she walked toward me, she held up a pair of socks and said, “I have extra socks.” We both walked to the kitchen where I had put her morning meds. Then she said, “Underwear.” When she wants or needs something she often just uses a single word, so I asked if she needed underwear. She did. That told me she had forgotten where she keeps her underwear. I got it and brought it back to her.
When she finished her meds, I was in the bedroom and heard her call my name. Once again, she was able to remember my name when she needed something. When I got to the kitchen, she held up the pair of socks she was carrying a few minutes earlier and said, “Look what I found.” I asked what she was going to do with them. She said she didn’t know. I asked if she would like me to put them in her sock drawer. She said she did, and I took them back to her room.
On the way to Panera, I said something and could tell that she preferred that I not talk. I said, “I’m not going to say another word.” She said, “We’ll see. You can’t help yourself.” When I didn’t say anything else, she said, “What do you know?” She obviously remembers that I am a talker.
When we turned into the parking lot at Panera, she said, “Surprise, surprise.” It was clear that she recognized where we were. Just before we got out of the car, she teased me about something. I expressed surprise. She smiled and said, “I guess I’ve been married to you too long.” Aha, she remembered that we are married.
We had arrived before 9:00. While we were seated at our table, she said, “Panera.” Then she beamed. She was proud to have remembered. Since she hadn’t gotten to bed any earlier last night, I figured that we might not stay there too long. About 10:00, she said she wanted to go. Then she looked at her iPad and asked, “Is this theirs or ours?” I told her it was hers. We got our things together and came home where she worked on her iPad a while and then rested about thirty minutes. We left for lunch a short time after that.
On the way to lunch, she asked me at least three times where we were. When we were ready to return home, she wanted to use the ladies room. Even though it is very close to where we sit, I have learned that it is best to walk with her. While she was in the restroom, I chatted with our server. I told her that Kate had been making a lot of changes in the past few weeks. She was surprised. She said, she couldn’t tell any difference at all. When Kate came out of the restroom, she had no idea where to look for me. Fortunately, I stayed within ten feet of the restrooms. I saw her puzzled look and walked over to her, and we left. On the way home, she again asked where we were. Right now her primary questions seem to be “What is your name?” and “Where are we?” Those must be the two most important things she needs to know. I can understand that. What is hard for me to understand is what it must be like not to know the name of the person with whom I have the closest relationship or the name of the city I am in.
