As I noted earlier, Kate seemed to be fine this morning. It was late, but we got to Panera at 11:00. That gave us hour for her to have her muffin and for both of us to relax. On the way to lunch, something happened that all of us can relate to. We worry about things that never happen or surprise us when least expect them.
As we were driving, Kate asked, “Where are we exactly right now?” I’m accustomed to the question and told her we were on the road in the northern part of Knoxville. She said, “Is Knoxville a city?” I told her it is. Then she asked my name. I told her and told her how long we had been married. As always, she was surprised how long that had been. I mentioned our children. She wanted to know their names. After I told her, she asked again. She seemed more confused than she normally does.
We drove a little further, and, for some reason, I brought up the fact that we had visited Ellen last Sunday. She looked very surprised and said, “We did? I don’t remember that.” I said, “Yes, we did.” Then she looked perplexed and said, “I should have remembered that. What’s wrong with me?” Since we had had a similar conversation just last night, it caught me off guard. I made a quick decision to tell her what was wrong.
I said, “You may remember that some time ago, we learned that you have Alzheimer’s. That affects your memory and is why you have trouble remembering things. The good news is that most of the things we enjoy in life don’t depend on memory. We enjoy listening to music, going to Casa Bella for their music nights, as well as our local theaters, and spending time with family and friends. Not only that, but you have me to help you with anything you need to remember. I will always be with you for that.” She still looked a little puzzled, but she did say how good she felt knowing she could depend on me to help with her memory. By that time, we were arriving at the restaurant where we had a good lunch and a delicious dessert.
When we arrived at home, she asked, “What now?” I told her that we could spend a little time at home and that we had several options. I mentioned that we could look at some of our pictures from our 50th anniversary trip with our family to Jackson Hole. I also said I could put on some music, and we could relax in the family room. She saw her iPad and said she would like to work on it. For a while we enjoyed Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 6 as she worked on her iPad. Then she said she was tired and wanted to lie down on the sofa. I put on some softer music to play while she rests. I am finishing up this post. After that I am going to bring in the clothes from the dryer to fold and put them up.
At the moment, all is well. I am glad I decided to remind her of her Alzheimer’s. This time it seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe that is because I had thought it through. She seemed to accept it well. At least, she didn’t indicate any concerns about the long-term implications. Perhaps that will never come up. If it does, I will continue to emphasize the good things that we will continue to enjoy and that I will cover the memory issues.
