After returning home from dinner last night, Kate got her robe and her iPad and came to the family room where I watched the news while she worked on her iPad. At 8:30, I told her I was going to take a shower. She said she would come back to the bedroom. As I was getting ready for my shower, she came into the room holding her iPad under her arm and asked in a very childlike way, “What do you want me to do now?” I told her I thought this would be a good time for her to get ready for bed. She looked like she didn’t know what to do. I asked if she would like me to get her night clothes for her. She said she would. I brought her a gown and the robe she had taken to the family room earlier. She was seated on the side of the bed. I placed the gown and robe on the bed beside her. She asked, “What do I do now?” I told her she could take off her clothes and put on the gown. She still seemed unsure what to do. I suggested that she take off her top first. She did that and then looked to me to tell her what to do next. I told her to take off her bra. She did that. She looked to me once again for instructions for the next step. I told her to take off her pants. She did and waited again for my instructions. I told her to take off her underwear and to put on her “night time” underwear that I had earlier put on the bed. She did that. Then I told her to put on her gown. As she started to do that, I walked away to the bathroom. She called for me to help her. She couldn’t put it on. In fairness to her, I think it is a challenge myself. I am not going to give her this gown again. We worked together to get it on. She got into bed with her iPad. I took my shower. When I got out, she had put away her iPad and was off to sleep. Based on the amount of sleep she had gotten during the previous night and the day, she should have had trouble going to sleep. It wasn’t a problem.
This was not the first time that I have helped her put on one of her gowns; however, the experience last night was very different. She seemed completely unsure of what to do from the time she walked into the bedroom until she was dressed for bed. Earlier in the week, she had told me, “I’m just going to let you make all the decisions.” That was the first time she had said that. The fact that last night’s experience came a few days after her statement is a another sign that she is softening her desire for independence. That’s a sad thing for me.
