Some things change. Some things haven’t.

I tend to focus on the changes that are going on in our lives, but it strikes me that there are some things that continue. I was reminded of that this morning when I went to the back of the house to tell Kate that the service man from our heating and cooling service was in the house. When I got to the door of the room, I spoke her name. She screamed. I had frightened her in a way that I have not done in a long time. It wasn’t long after her diagnosis that I first became aware of how easily she can be frightened. That led to my announcing my presence as I came in the door whenever I had been out. These days I am with her except for those days she has a sitter, so I haven’t thought as much about startling her in quite a while.

It is not just around the house that she is startled. This frequently happens when we are in restaurants. A couple of days ago at Barnes & Noble, two women walked by our table. As they did, one of them dropped her keys. Kate jumped and made a sound  that was loud enough for the women to hear. That brought an apology from the one who dropped the keys. As much as Kate loves children, she is sometimes  bothered by their high pitched voices.

One of the other things that has annoyed Kate is the music played in restaurants. This may have been a problem for her before Alzheimer’s, but I don’t recall her making an issue of it the way she does now.

She still has Déjà vu experiences although I don’t think I have heard her mention anything in the past few weeks. Maybe that is something that is changing rather than a constant.

Her use of hand signals began one or two years ago. For example, instead of asking me if she should take her iPad with us when we go out, she might point to her iPad and then point in the direction of the garage. Similarly, if we have our own cups in the car when we get to a restaurant, she often points to her cup and then to the restaurant. In the evening, she often brings a robe into our bedroom and points at the robe and then to herself and then to her chair or the bed. I don’t always read her signals correctly, but she rarely helps me out with words. Of course, usually I know what she is asking.