I am letting Kate sleep a little longer this morning while I check email, read the paper and write down a few thoughts on the last couple of days. As I was writing, she got up. This works well. We are not in a hurry this morning, but if we can get away by 10 or 10:30, we will get to the Italian Fisherman on Chautauqua Lake for lunch before the crowd arrives. We can have a leisurely lunch and then get to Chautauqua around 2:00 or 2:30.
So far it has been a good trip, but we have had a few challenging moments. As usual, I had some difficulty getting Kate started on her packing. The problem for me is that if I don’t try to get her started, she won’t get ready at all. On the other hand, if I do let her know it is time to get ready, she resents it and takes a passive aggressive stance. She usually says something like, “I’ll get ready. Leave me alone.” Her tone of voice captures her irritation with me. This is what happened the afternoon before we left. The morning we left, she still wasn’t dressed 30 minutes before leaving for the airport. When I told her how much time we had, she became irritated and asked me to leave her alone. She was quite upset when we left about 10 minutes later than I had planned. Fortunately, I try to allow plenty of time to permit short delays like this. On the way to the airport, she said, “You should just shoot me.” This is something she says periodically though not frequently. My interpretation of what has occurred is that she does in fact resent my efforts to get her ready, and she blames me for being anal. At the same time, she really does recognize her own role in these occurrences and probably links it to her Alzheimer’s.
She and I have both enjoyed our stay in Niagara-on-the-Lake. We saw three plays yesterday. All were well acted and staged. She enjoyed a long conversation we had with our neighbors in the room next door the first afternoon. Yesterday she seemed tired even though she slept well the night before. She lay in the bed after breakfast and took a nap after lunch. Then we attended another play at 2:00 that ended at 4:30. She was tired and took another nap. While she was resting (not sure if she actually went to sleep), I went out on the porch and visited with our neighbors again. When I came back in, she was sitting up in bed working a jigsaw puzzle. She looked a little irritated with me. I think she may have resented my having spent so much time talking with the neighbors. I asked if she wanted to get something to eat. She said she did but wanted to finish what she was doing. She then took another 10-15 minutes until I asked if she were ready to go eat. She got up. She acted very sleepy and did not speak much at all through dinner.
At intermission, she waited until it was almost time to go back in the theater before asking for something to drink. She started drinking it as they rang for us to return. She had done something similar at the earlier play in the afternoon. I believe this kind of thing occurs because she does not have a sense of time. She is simply unable to judge how much time she has and what she can accomplish in that time. I know it must be frustrating for her as well. In both of these instances She had to dispose of her drink before finishing it.
Addendum to Post Above
We are back from our breakfast. Kate immediately got into the bed and is resting. This, as I have mentioned in other posts, continues to be a pattern for her. While at breakfast she got up and sat at another table that she thought looked cozy. When our host at our B&B brought our omelets, she got up. I thought she was coming back to the table, but she walked through the garden in front of the porch where we had been seated and then stopped by another table and talked about 10 minutes talking with guests at another table. I wanted to get up and bring her back to our table but decided not to do so because she seemed to be enjoying herself. I just hated to interrupt her.
