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Sundowners?

I have mentioned signs of possible sun downing in prior posts, but I don’t believe I have said anything in a while. Tonight Kate came in from outside without my calling her in. I suspect that was related to the heat. She has not been staying out very long lately.

Once inside, she said or did several things that in combination are somewhat unusual. First, she came into the bedroom where I was watching the news and asked, “What now?” I told her it was after 8:00 and that I was going to take my shower. She said she needed to take as shower as well. I told her she could go first. She had the clippers in her hand and walked toward the end table on her side of the bed and asked if she should put them in there. I told her I thought it would be better for her to put them in the laundry room where she would find them when she went outside.

She left the bedroom and came back in a few minutes. She stood by the bed, looked at me, and asked, “Are we sleeping here tonight?” I told her we were. She asked me what she could do. I told her it would be a good time for her to get her shower. She left to do that.

When she came back to the bedroom, she had taken her shower and put on a robe without a night gown. This is something she does fairly frequently when she can’t seem to find a night gown. I asked if she would like me to get her.a gown. She said she would, something that is a fairly typical response. That seems surprising since she continues to be as independent as possible. Maybe she is just tired at the end of the day.

She started picking up a few things on her side of the room. One of the things was a bra hat she picked up and threw to me. I must have looked surprised. She said, “Well, you said you would know where to put it.” Of course, this was one of those occasions when she thinks I have said something when we haven’t had any such discussion at all.

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Short-term Memory, Confusion, Dependence

Although I have mentioned for months (years?) that Kate’s short-term memory is going, my words are unable to capture how poor it is. For example, yesterday she put her yard clippers in the right hand side pocket of the passenger door. I asked if she thought we could remember where she had put them. She said, “I’ll remember.” Then she paused a second and said, “I don’t even remember right now.” I probed, and she hadn’t remembered.

We also had one of our more common experiences yesterday. This time it was she who was talking about someone. Then I said something about that person. She didn’t know who I was talking about and, once again, thought that I was being unclear.

Some confusion is not new, for example, she still asks if we are “staying here” tonight. Yesterday she also showed me her clippers after coming inside and asked what I wanted her to do with them. I told her she could keep them in the garage where she usually keeps them. It was clear that she didn’t remember. I asked if she would like me to put them up. She did.

Along with the confusion, she is giving up some of her independence and frequently asks for permission to do various things. Most often that means working outside. It also occurs in the evening before we go to bed. She is usually in her chair and I in mine. A typical example would be that she asks, “What do you want me to do now?” I might answer that it is getting time for bed and that she could put on her night clothes. Occasionally, she really surprises me during the day when she asks that question. Sometimes I tell her she could work on her iPad. Then she does. Since she works on it so much, it always seems strange that she would accept my suggestion as though she had never thought of it herself.

On several recent nights, she has either asked if I would get her a night gown or readily accepted if I asked if she wanted me to get her something to wear to bed.

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Home Again

We arrived home around 10:00 last night. Although we had had a wonderful time at Chautauqua, it was good to be back in our own quarters again. It is only when you are away from home for a while that you realize how accustomed you have become to all the little things that you like about home. For me, that involves something as insignificant as the soap we use in the shower. Of course, the amount of space we have at home is so much greater than anything we have ever had at Chautauqua. We definitely don’t go there for the lodging even though this year’s apartment was the very best we have ever had there.

When we came inside I didn’t pay any attention to Kate. I was focused on getting the luggage inside. When I finished, I noticed that she was walking slowly around the house. I asked, “Are you glad to be home?” She said something like, “What’s going on? Are we going to stay here?” I asked her if she thought something was wrong. She said, “No, I don’t know what I was thinking.” I don’t know either. I have to believe she remembered that this is our home. We had just been talking about going home. All I can say is that she does have periodic moments when she finds things confusing. This was one of them.

It was almost midnight before I got into bed. She had been working puzzles on her iPad in bed until about 10 minutes before I joined her. That is much later than we normally get to bed. This morning she was very tired. She got up around 8:30 and ate some yogurt. A short time later she went back to bed. I got her up close to 11:00 for lunch. When we came home, she worked on her iPad for a while. She is now in bed again. I am going to the store soon and will let her sleep. I suspect she will get up before time for dinner and hope that she is able to get to sleep earlier this evening.

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Reminding Me of our Caribbean Cruise

Yesterday was a very good beginning of our week with Roger Rosenblatt and Friends. Kate seemed to enjoy every program we attended. I am, however, observing some signs that remind me of her behavior while on the cruise. She seems to be unusually tired, and last night, she did not go with me to the evening entertainment in the amphitheater. She got up about 30 minutes ago and took a shower but got back into the bed. I had laid out clothes for her, but I discovered that she had gone through her drawers and pulled out other ones. She doesn’t seem to be approaching the day with any enthusiasm or eagerness

I feel a little torn in that I believe she will enjoy herself if she goes with me to events, but I don’t like to force her. I am strongly encouraging her to attend the morning worship. The preacher of the week is Greg Boyle, a catholic priest who works with gangs in Los Angeles. He is an excellent speaker

(8:53 a.m.)

Good news. She got up and dressed and came out on the porch with me to eat the muffin had had gotten for her. She was in good humor and appeared rested. We are going to the morning worship.

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Going Home

This is a travel day for us. We have had a good time in Lubbock with our son and his family. Though Kate has shown some confusion, she has enjoyed herself. That is what I was hoping for.

This morning after she got up she asked me if it would be all right for her to take a shower in our bathroom. I told her I thought she should just take a shower right here. The she said, “Are they still here?” I said, “We are in Lubbock. We are staying in the Residence Inn, and we are flying back to Knoxville today. She said, “Oh.”

A few minutes later, she asked about her clothes. I gave her a pair of slacks that I had put out last night. Then I opened a drawer and pulled out a top for her to wear. She said, “No wonder I couldn’t find anything. You were hiding it from me.” This was said in a neutral tone. She didn’t appear to be seriously complaining.

She saw me packing her suitcase but didn’t say anything. It was as though this is a normal routine for us. As I indicated in an earlier post when we left Knoxville, this will make things easier for me, but it is sad to see that she is relinquishing things like this. It is a sign of her decline.

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More Evidence of Confusion

We are in our hotel room where I have been checking email, Facebook, and looking at the Alzheimer’s caregivers forum. Kate rested about 30-40 minutes. A few minutes ago she picked up her iPad. She is working on it while still in bed. She said, “I’m glad to rediscover this room.” I said, “You are?” She smiled and said, “With your help.” I didn’t pursue this. She is happy. I didn’t want to confront her with the knowledge that she was imagining she was at home. This is just one more sign of her confusion which is intensifying.

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Off to Asheville

Yesterday, when  I returned from my morning walk at 7:45, Kate was about to go outside. It was obvious that she had forgotten about our leaving for Asheville. I told her that we were going to leave at 9:45. She gave me a dirty look but didn’t go outside. She went back to her room to get ready.

At 9:00, she came out and told me she was ready. That was earlier than I had expected and meant that I had to rush to finish up a few things myself. When I packed my things, I also put in some tops and one pair of slacks in my suitcase. As I was gathering things together, she walked into the kitchen with a pair of underwear in her hands. She showed me and told me she had her black underwear.

I went back to her room to get her suitcase. When I picked it up, I noticed that it was very light. I opened it up and found that it was completely empty. All she had was what she was wearing except the black underwear in her hands. She hadn’t packed anything. I quickly gathered up several pair of slacks and tops as well as 3 pair of shoes and 2 sweaters. She came back to the room and asked what I was doing. I told her I had noticed that she hadn’t packed her suitcase and had packed it for her. She said, “Thank you.” She did it very naturally and was genuinely happy that I had done this for her. When we got in the car, I also discovered she had a pair of white underwear in a magazine along with her iPad.

Before leaving for Asheville, we stopped by Panera to get Kate a muffin. Thirty minutes after leaving Panera, we discovered that she had left her iPad there. I called but they didn’t find it. This is the third iPad lost in less than 12 months.

Last night I noticed that she was wearing a robe and an identical robe was on the bed. I said, “It looks like you have two robes.” She said it was a mistake. She meant to bring one gown and one robe but they were packaged like that. She said that was all right. This shows continued confusion. She hadn’t brought any robes. Both robes were in our closet here at the hotel, and she simply got two robes out of the closet.

This morning as I was finishing up in the bathroom, she pushed the door open. She looked quite groggy and didn’t say anything. I asked if she would like to use the bathroom. She said, “I want to take a shower in that shower.” I didn’t understand her, and she repeated it. I understood the second time. The way she said it was very much the way a young child would have said it. I told her I would finish shaving and then turn on the shower for her.

We just finished breakfast. She hasn’t said anything except in response to my questions. The answers have been minimal. She is not typically alert first thing in the morning; so I am not about to draw conclusions. For instance, I am not ready to say that she is disoriented being in a new place although it is a place we have stayed 5-6 times before. I do realize though that she probably does not remember much from those visits.

Kate put the iPad down and looked sleepy. I asked if she would like to go back to the room. She did, and here we are. We have been back in the room for almost an hour. She immediately got into bed. For much of the past hour she has been sleeping soundly as she is at the moment. I will need to wake her up in 15-20 minutes in order for us to get to lunch on time. We have reservations for 11:00. It is now 10:15.

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Little Things

Today Kate and I met with the visitation committee at church. As is our custom, committee members brought birthday cards for those with birthdays. When we arrived, Kate started to take a single seat to two other people. That would have meant we were not seated together. This is not a significant issue in terms of our relationship. It’s just that in the past she would have automatically sat in a place where I might sit beside her. I have noticed this in a couple of other instances when we have been out with Ellen, for example, a movie.

Kate’s birthday had been the week before and our custom is for each member of the committee to bring a birthday card for anyone who had not been recognized at the previous meeting. The woman chairing our group pointed out that Kate was to sit in a special seat reserved for her. It was the place where the birthday cards were on the placemat. She took the appropriate seat, but I don’t believe she understood that she had birthday cards in front of her. About 15-20 minutes into the meeting, I asked if she were going to open her cards. She hesitated a moment and then started opening them. Knowing that she would not be able to remember, I reminded her that the person receiving the cards usually passes them around for everyone to see. She looked confused and asked if I had a pen. Realizing that she still didn’t understand that the cards were for her, I told her they were her cards, and she didn’t need to sign the cards. This is just another reminder that she is often confused regarding what is going on around her. It is almost like she isn’t even listening. This happens even when it is just the two of us.

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Lunch Experience

Kate and I just got back from lunch. Here are a couple of examples of the kinds of behavior that I see as routine. While I ordered, she went to the drink machine to get a Dr. Pepper. It is a new type of dispenser that has about 30 different drinks. You press the appropriate logos to select the drink you want. Then you go to a different screen that permits you to dispense the drink into your cup. I saw that she was puzzled and that she had Dr. Pepper but no ice. She came back to the counter to ask where she could get ice. The person went to the machine with her and showed her how. It turns out that although it is a fancy high-tech machine, the ice is dispensed just the way it is in any other drink machine. The fact that the machine looked so different I am sure caused her not to recognize how to get her ice.

When the sandwich arrived, she put a large amount of mustard on it. When she ate it, her hands got messy. She needed a napkin but didn’t see that they were on the table on my side. When she uses a napkin she does so like a child without opening it up. She used 5 napkins, and I gave her the one I had used at the end.

When we got in the car, I noticed that she had mustard on her slacks. She said she would have to get it off as soon as we got home, but she went back to her yard rather quickly; so I don’t know if she cleaned the mustard off or not. We leave in 25 minutes for a movie. These are all little things and things that any one of us might do. The difference is that they happen so regularly.

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Everyday Confusion

We are sitting here in front of the fire. I have the Cowboys-Packers playoff game on. About 10 minutes ago, I showed Kate a video that a friend  had posted on Facebook. It shows a cruise ship in rough seas. The first part of the video was taken from a helicopter or plane of the ship bobbing up and down as well as left and right. The second part of the video was shot from a camera in a dining or lounge. The latter video shows people, tables, chairs, and other non-fixed equipment sliding from one side of the room to the other and back again. It is staggering to watch. It would certainly reinforce any fears of cruising that anyone might have. Kate started to put the iPad down after the first part, and I told her to keep watching. She never said a word. When the video was over, I asked if she understood what was happening. She said no. I then explained. Then she understood. I then said, “I should have given you the explanation before just asking you to watch it.” She gave me a glaring look and nod of agreement. This is a common occurrence when I am telling her something. The difference is that in most instances where I have not given a proper setup it is usually harder to understand than this video. This is a very clear video of exactly what it is. The fact that she did not understand explains why she does not react or understand so many other things in conversation or on TV or in movies. She is further along that even I fully realize.

This brings to mind another clothing issue that came up before our going to lunch. When I arrived home from Sunday school (she didn’t want to go to church again today), she had not dressed to go out. She told me she was trying to find something to wear. Thinking about the 5 pair of slacks we had just bought on Thursday and the turtleneck sweaters she has still not worn, I asked if she would like me to help. She told me no and to “leave me alone.” I said “you really don’t want my help. You want to do it yourself.” She replied with an emphatic, “Yes.” When she came out to the family room for us to leave, she was wearing old clothes. There was nothing wrong with what she was wearing, but I fear that she has no idea where the 5 pair of slacks are located.