Early Efforts to Cope

January 25, 2011 (6:07 a.m.)

I woke up early this morning (around 4:00 am) . I don’t know that this relates to Kate’s diagnosis, but it is consistent with problem sleeping the week before her appointment with Dr. Reasoner.

We both got through the day all right. I was busy with things at the office although I did find my mind wandering back to Kate. I checked online to locate support groups for her. I found a number, but did not identify just the right one.

I also looked up life expectancy for someone diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I didn’t like the results. Results showed somewhere between 4.5 and 8.5 years. That is a contrast with the figure of 12 years that we got from Dr. Reasoner.

Kate specifically told me she got a long all right yesterday. She took a positive step to investigate a yoga class that she has been considering. She is also going with me to the Y breakfast this morning.

January 25, 2011 (12:10 p.m.)

I have found myself with a strong feeling that I need to be with Kate more. I have been thinking of the possibility of limited time to enjoy ourselves “the way they are” rather than “the way they will be” in the future. She went to the Y breakfast this morning, but I have tried to reach her about having lunch together. She hasn’t been at home and hasn’t answered her phone or text messages. She could possibly be at church where the connection is not so good although I thought she was almost fully disconnected from her responsibilities there.

I also keep thinking of things that she would like to do while she is able to fully appreciate them: seeing the grandchildren, traveling, visiting with friends, etc. I am also thinking about developing a To Do list of things we need to do: putting both our names on all bank accounts, checking our wills to see that they are in order, getting rid of lots of things in the house that we don’t need and that Kate has expressed an interest in doing but I haven’t, deciding whether Kate would be better off staying in the house as long as absolutely possible or moving to a continuing care community that could handle our changing needs.

 

Reflecting on the Diagnosis and the Future

It’s been a good day. That doesn’t mean either of us hasn’t dwelt on the news we received from Dr. Reasoner. One of the differences I notice is that we are more open with each other about the news. Prior to knowing, neither of us spoke about it except in moments when some instance of Kate’s loss of memory bothered her or me or both of us. It is as though instantly I am attributing all of her issues to the diagnosis.

She has brought up the fact that she is feeling all right, but also expressing that she is feeling a range of emotions starting with anger, sadness, etc. She did not go to church this morning, something that is not unusual since she retired from the church library in May. When I go home, we went to Casa Bonita for lunch. While there, she mentioned that she might want to check out support groups for Alzheimer’s patients. I suggested she look online and that that would offer her more anonymity.

After we got home I got online to look for options and found several. I did not identify one in particular that would be appropriate for her. I did, however, get a different slant on her condition. I believe, and I know she does as well, that Dr. Reasoner said something about “early onset Alzheimer’s.” From what I read today she must have meant early stage Alzheimer’s. Early onset is for people who are under 65. I believe this is not early onset and am now concerned that this may mean there is a shorter period of time before we face significant changes that will affect us. Up until getting this information, we have both been thinking that we will have quite a few good years ahead. Now I am wondering if we might not notice changes that affect us within the next 5 years.

We both have talked about the importance of her being active including participating in exercise. I am going to check on yoga classes near the house where she has had some interest. I am also thinking that we might start eating lunch together more frequently than in the past. We also talked today about her avoiding situations that are especially frustrating. That would involve preparing meals for company. She recalls being especially frustrated last summer when one of my friends  was in town to see Dad.

 

Follow Up to Yesterday’s Post

I don’t intend to write something every day, but I did want to add a couple of things from yesterday and today. First, I didn’t indicate yesterday that I had planned to take the full day off as soon as I knew Kate had the appointment with Dr. Reasoner. That worked out well. After our lunch at Casa Bella, we came home. We had picked up Kate’s laptop from the shop; so she wanted to catch up on email, etc., having been without the computer for the past few days. I took a little time to work on my Sunday school lesson and to start this particular document.

Continue reading “Follow Up to Yesterday’s Post”