It is often said that “it’s good to live in the moment.” I believe that. I believe that Kate and I have tried pretty successfully to do that since her diagnosis; however, I tend to be a planner. I am always thinking into the future and about possibilities that might require consideration right now. I wish I could accurately predict the future, but I’ve never been very good at that. That hasn’t prevented my continuing efforts to plan ahead. With respect to Kate and our time together, I have tried to focus on the moment and found that very rewarding. I have also tried to anticipate the future with respect to a number of things that I believe are especially important. These include our annual trip to Chautauqua as well as visits with our children and grandchildren and special friends.
Long before the end of this year, I had been thinking that this Christmas might be our last one with our son and his family in Lubbock. I was never sure that we would make the trip this year, but my optimism increased as we approached the Christmas season. Our travel arrangements are made, and I have no doubts about our making the trip and that it will go well.
On the other hand, I am also more confident now that this will be our last holiday in Lubbock with our son and his family. I am not ruling out the possibility that we might make a late-spring visit, but it is hard to imagine that Kate’s situation will make it possible to go back next Thanksgiving. That would be our typical pattern, Christmas one year and Thanksgiving the next. We always rotate the holidays with our daughter’s family and our son’s family.
My reasoning about the future involves her continued decline. She is simply losing even more of her memories, and she experiences more confusion than in the past. On top of this, travel itself is troubling for her. She can’t remember where she is. I have concerns about her walking out of the hotel room at night. There are also issues of her needing to use the restrooms in airports. These issues have existed before. I have worked around them in a variety of ways, but at some point, I will need to say it is best that we not make the trip. I believe that time will occur in the coming year.
With that in mind, I am grateful that we are having such a good time during this Christmas season. There are still more things to come before we leave for Texas, and I expect our visit there will be special as well.
