One of the ways in which I, as a caregiver, have been fortunate throughout my care for Kate is her own expressions of gratitude. I know that many others who care for a person with dementia are not on the receiving of these acts of appreciation. I feel for them. It is enough to have one’s life organized around the care for another person. To do so without any sign gratitude would be unbearable. When you love someone and that person acknowledges her gratitude, caregiving is much easier.
It is true that Kate is more irritable than she was before AD. Those moments are usually rather fleeting. On the other hand, her expression of appreciation has punctuated the entire journey. It doesn’t occur all the time but often enough that it tells me she knows how dependent on me she has become. These expressions come in very small packages. Here are two recent examples.
The other day in a restaurant without anything to prompt her, she said, “Thank you for everything you do for me.” I don’t know why she said it at that time, but I interpreted it as her recognition that I do a lot for her. Another occurred last night. As we walked to the car after dinner, I walked ahead of her and opened the car door for her. She said, “You didn’t have to do that.” I said, “I know I didn’t. I just wanted to. I want to take care of you.” She responded, “You do. You take very good care of me.”
