It can be difficult for others who see Kate to get a good idea of how well she is getting along. During a large portion of the day, she is in what I call her “neutral mood”, neither happy nor sad. That is typical when she wakes up in the morning and continues until later in the day. That is what other people see the most.
Her most predictable cheerful moments occur late in the day and after dinner when we get her ready for bed. Most people are surprised to hear that because they have heard about sundowning which often occurs among dementia patients.
Because her caregivers and I are with her so much of each day, we get a better view of what she is like. We spend much of our time with her in our apartment, where she is most at ease, at least late in the day.
Her cheerful mood begins around 3:00 pm, when we start getting her ready to go out for yogurt at one of the cafes in our retirement community. By the time we get downstairs, she usually changes back to her neutral mood. This is what other residents observe most often, but sometimes, they are rewarded with a big smile.
During the past six months or so, she has been sleeping a little more which I believe may signal a transition to a new stage within this last stage of the disease. That gives me less quality time with her than I had before, but there is also good news.
More frequently than in the past, she is waking up in a cheerful mood and seems to recognize me. That has been true for the last several days. Not only that, but she sometimes expresses more enthusiasm and laughter during her “Happy Moments”. That is especially likely as we put her to bed.
The other night after the caregiver left, we talked for more than an hour. Although I couldn’t understand most of what she said, the conversation felt natural and was an especially Happy Moment for me. I wish everyone could see what she is like in moments like that. So, how is she doing? Well, that depends on the time of day and what is going on around her. Overall, I believe she is doing remarkably well for someone who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s sixteen years ago this coming January and who has been in the last stage of the disease for almost six years. She is far beyond her life expectancy for someone with Alzheimer’s, and she has “Happy Moments” every day. I am grateful.
