These days I write more about the challenges that Kate and I have than at any other time over the past 9 ½ years. For that reason, I feel the need to emphasize that we continue to have joyful moments and even joyful days. One of those occurred yesterday. The day was highlighted by one of the best tours we have had of the main living areas of our house.
(For those of you who may be new to this site, Kate rarely recognizes the house as ours and never remembers her way around the house or anything -and I mean anything – in the various rooms. Periodically, I give her a tour of the family room, kitchen, living room and dining room. I do so with a patter that is somewhat like that of a tour guide taking note of things that were special purchases of ours as well as items from her parents’ home.)
I woke Kate around 11:00. Unlike the past two mornings, I was able to get her up and dressed quite easily. She was also cheerful though confused the way she usually is. We brought in a takeout lunch from a sandwich shop nearby. After eating, she wanted to rest and lay down on the sofa in our family room. An hour or so later, she started to sit up. I walked over to her. She said she wanted to walk “around.” I asked if she would like me to show her around.
She accepted my offer and we began with a few items on a shelves close to where she had been resting. There are four pie plates that we bought at a pottery in North Carolina when we lived there early in our marriage. I told her about our buying them and her using them for years afterward. They remain as a reminder of those days. She gave special attention to another item that is a salt-glazed pitcher that her father had bought as a gift for his mother. On the bottom Kate’ mother had pasted a typed note telling the story and her desire that it go to Kate and then to our daughter, Jesse. I shown her the vase and read the note quite a few times, but she was especially moved this time.
We went into the living room where I showed three chairs and a sofa that had belonged to her parents. She took great interest in everything, especially a collection of sixteen porcelain figures, each of which had been a gift from her father to her mother. Then I picked up a vase that had another note from her mother that said she had it as a gift from her father and wanted Kate to have it. She also delighted in a portrait of her mother when she was about fifteen.
I pointed out the chandelier in our dining room. It was also from her parents home. I told her there were two things I thought about when I looked at it. One is thinking about her parents shopping for just the right chandelier for the house they were building, I commented on how excited they must have been as they picked out everything for their new home. That was the one in which Kate spent most of her life from the time she was eight until we married. The second thing is that her mother was an outstanding cook and hostess. She entertained many family and friends over the years. I mentioned the names of all her aunts and uncles and some of their friends and told her I could envision their sitting around the dining room table under the light of that chandelier. At this point, I don’t think she can even recall those times when I tell her, but it gives her a good feeling.
She was tired before we reached the kitchen, and I took her to her recliner. There is a small table next to it and on the other side of the table is another chair, the one in which I usually sit. I took a seat there. That put me less than four feet away from her, but she said, “Can’t you sit by me?” I got another chair and put it right up against hers and took a seat. She was happy, and so was I.
In no time, she was asleep. She rested until time for dinner. After dinner, I had no trouble getting her ready for bed. She had been in a wonderful mood all day. It was a great day.
