Confusion Yesterday Morning

Kate woke up around 7:30 yesterday morning to go to the bathroom. She seemed rather alert. I didn’t ask, but she acted as though she knew exactly who I am. I realize, however, that appearances don’t necessarily jibe with reality. She went back to bed and slept until 10:30. This time she was confused.

I asked if she was ready to get up. She said, “I don’t know.” She didn’t look disturbed or frightened. It wasn’t the way she has been when she has had anxiety attacks. I asked if I could help her. She said, “I don’t know.” No matter what I said she said “I don’t know.” Then I suggested that she take a shower and that might help to wake her up. She didn’t want to shower.

I took another tack. I told her she should get dressed, and we could go to the family room where I might be able to show her something that would help. As she was dressing, she asked my name and her own several times. When she was finished, we went to the family room where I picked up the “Big Sister” album. We spent about about twenty minutes looking through it before going to lunch. She didn’t recognize the cover photo of herself with her brother. When we opened to the first page of pictures, she didn’t recognize herself, or her parents. As she has done in the past, she didn’t recognize her father after I identified her mother who was sitting with him. Although she didn’t show any improvement in recognizing her family, she did seem more comfortable than before. Her intuitive abilities were working.

As we drove to lunch, she seemed normal, and I was beginning to think she knew who I was. When we walked from the car to the restaurant, she asked my name. Similar moments like this over the past week suggest that she is close to losing the ability to remember my name and relationship to her. I am not expecting this to happen suddenly, but it is becoming more and more difficult for her to remember my name. I know it will only get worse. I still take satisfaction that she recognizes me as someone she trusts.

Yesterday on Twitter I exchanged several message related to the important of feeling safe among those living with Alzheimer’s. I am also encouraged that she continues to say that she feels safe with me. When this first started occurring, I didn’t know what to make of it. The more I have watched her decline and the more I have read, I have come to realize how frightening it must be not to where one is, who one is with, and “who I am?” I don’t think I would feel safe either.

When we got home, we had about twenty minutes before our sitter, Mary, arrived. Kate wanted to know what she could do. I showed her the three-ring binder with a lot of personal and family information. She was interested. When I left for the Y, she and Mary were seated side by side on the sofa going through the information. I was encouraged.

When I got home Kate was resting on the sofa while Mary sat in a chair across from her. Mary said that she and Kate had spent most of the time looking through the binder and then a couple of the photo books. She said Kate had been resting about an hour.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Kate indicated she was glad I was home and wanted to know “What next?” I told her it was time for dinner. When we returned home, she worked on her iPad until time for bed. She needed my help periodically but never showed any sense of frustration.

She got to bed a little earlier than usual but was still awake when I joined her an hour later. This morning she was up at 8:30 and took a shower. She didn’t show any signs of confusion or grogginess and acted normally toward me. I had her clothes out for her, but she went back to bed where she is resting/sleeping now. We don’t have any special obligations today. I will let her sleep until 11:00 if she doesn’t get up earlier.

The big event of the day actually comes tonight. Kate’s brother, Kevin and his wife, Virginia, are flying in for a short visit. Their flight doesn’t arrive until 7:00 this evening. They are renting a car and will meet us at the restaurant where I have made dinner reservations. Kate has changed a good bit since their visit in the fall, but I am optimistic that it will go well. I will be eager for the two of them to have some time together as they did on their previous visit. We have plenty of photo books to inspire good conversation. I am looking forward to having them with us.

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