Kate and I are at that age when we take greater interest in connecting with old friends. We’ve done some of that in the past few weeks. The first is a long-time friend of Kate’s, Meg Wright, who lives in Dallas. She and Kate grew up together in Fort Worth, and Meg was a bridesmaid in our wedding. We don’t see her often, but we have enjoyed getting together with her when we are in Dallas. The last time was almost a year ago. She called a few weeks ago to speak with Kate. They had a nice chat. After they were finished, I sent her an email letting her know how much Kate had appreciated the call. When she replied, she indicated that she may be in the early stages of dementia herself. She said they were experimenting with some medications and was going to check in with the doctor soon. I have followed up with her in a couple of emails including this past week. Nothing is definite yet, but the signs point to dementia. I would have wanted to stay in touch regardless, but now I feel it is especially important to be someone with an encouraging word for her.
On Friday, I placed a call to Reggie Stone who lives in Raleigh. He and I became close friends in Madison where we were both PhD students in sociology. We both began our careers as professors and ended up in the business world. We were very close and had remained in touch for quite a few years. Somehow in the past ten years, we have had very little contact. I decided to end that with my phone call. They were not available at the time, but his wife and I connected via email and set up a phone call yesterday afternoon. Reggie and I talked for almost an hour. It was like old times, at least for me. I hope the same for him.
In our conversation, I learned about a second heart attack and their move to a continuing care facility. He and his wife, Dot, are still active and enjoying themselves, but it seems their lives are also changing. Reggie told me that he no longer drives nor works on a computer. When I asked him a question about something that had happened in the past, he said his memory was not as good as it used to be. I followed up with an email to Dot who confirmed that he has not yet gotten a diagnosis but is encountering memory issues.
In an earlier post I mentioned last week’s meeting with a church friend whose daughter may have early onset dementia. The problem they are having now is getting a clear diagnosis. All of these recent contacts with people I know illustrate that dementia is a more common experience than we often realize. It also encourages me to play a greater role in doing what I can to encourage and help others who are currently living with Alzheimer’s. At this point, my primary role is to care for Kate. I hope that this blog may benefit some people. In the years ahead I may be able to do more to satisfy my desire to help other caregivers and people with dementia.
