Yesterday when I returned home to relieve the sitter, Kate was resting on the sofa in the family room. I walked Anita to her car to find out how things had gone. She said they had had a good day. She had met us at Panera but she said they didn’t stay long after I left. I was pleased to hear her say that they had spent a long time going through the photobook that Kate’s brother had made for her. She said that Kate enjoyed telling her about all the people in the pictures. This made me especially happy because I had been concerned that Kate was not enjoying her time with Anita as much as she does with Mary.
Anita told me that Kate had asked about me a couple of times, wondering when I would be home. That is the first time Anita has said anything like this. I took note because Mary has also mentioned Kate’s asking about me. Kate had wanted to be home when I got there. These are little things and may have no significance, but I think they are consistent with her increasing sense of dependence on me. It is more than just the things I do for her. From what she tells me, she just feels better when we are together.
After Anita left, Kate continued to rest a little longer. Then she was ready to go out. We went to Panera. We had been seated for about fifteen minutes, when she said, “I like Panera.” Then she commented on the general atmosphere and the people who were there. She continued working her jigsaw puzzles on her iPad. In a few minutes she stopped. She said, “I like being here with you.” I said, “I’m glad. I like being with you.” As she often does, she moved her lips to say, “I love you.” At the same time, she brings her index finger to her lips and then points to me. Then I said, “We’ve done many special things over the years. Many of them, like being together at Panera, have been ordinary things, but they’ve been special to us. And we’re going to have many more.”
I still see signs of Kate’s desire to be independent. At home after dinner, she brought out clothes for her to wear today. She had a pair of pants, a top, underwear, 3 pair of socks, and 2 pair of shoes. She does this once in a while. I take it as further recognition that it is confusing to get her things together at the last minute. This way it’s done for her when she wake up. Her dependence on me is even reflected in this simple act of preparation. She asked me to check her and make sure she had everything. I assured her that did. Moments like are very touching.
