I couldn’t have understood seven years ago how well Kate and I would be able to get along this far into her Alzheimer’s. That isn’t because of any lessening of the changes the disease is bringing into our lives. It’s because I didn’t fully grasp that Alzheimer’s doesn’t affect every aspect of a person’s life until very late in the disease. Discovering this has been an unanticipated blessing.
My own lack of understanding is not unique. What most of us think about when we hear of a person with dementia is the end state. There is a image of people we have seen in nursing homes who have lost virtually all of their abilities. For most people with dementia there is plenty in life that can be appreciated even when memory is gone.
For us, yesterday was a good example of that. Kate was able to enjoy conversations with friends and the pleasure of music. An observer would never have suspected that she didn’t know where she was (either the city or the restaurant), what day it was, the time, the name of her favorite entrée she had, or the names of the people with whom she conversed. Yet, she was happy, and I was just as happy.
