I have repeatedly commented how fortunate Kate and I have been as we have been learning to live with Alzheimer’s, and that is true. We have been free of any other major health concerns. We have traveled. We visit with friends. We attend many live theater productions as well as a variety of musical events. We are active and enjoying ourselves. That doesn’t mean, however, that life is the same as it was before Kate’s Alzheimer’s. In an earlier post, I described how much life has changed for Kate. Except for the things I arrange for her, she only works on her iPad and sometimes works in the yard. Let me take a moment to comment on the changes I have experienced.
At the time of Kate’s diagnosis, I was still working and also served as a volunteer with several organizations like our local United Way, our church, and the foundation board of our largest hospital system. Kate’s Alzheimer’s led to my retiring earlier than I would have. My term on the foundation board expired. I dropped one of the United Way committees on which I served. I gave up my Sunday school class and all but one church committee. We were regulars at church for many years. We are much less frequent attenders now. That relates to how slowly Kate likes to get going in the morning. For a short time, I signed us up to participate in the Shepherd’s Center’s programs. Kate enjoyed some of the classes, but I have found the mornings are not a good time to rush. It is much better to let her sleep as long as she wants, take as long as she needs to get dressed, and to spend time relaxing and enjoying her blueberry muffin at Panera.
I changed my exercise schedule at the Y from early in the morning to early afternoon. I have assumed almost all of the household responsibilities but should acknowledge that we have a housekeeper who comes to our house once a week, so not everything is on my shoulders.
Travel, especially international trips, had been a significant part of our lives. Our last big trip was to Switzerland in May 2015. Our two favorite places in the U.S. have been Chautauqua, NY and New York City. Our last trip to New York was in June 2015 with our daughter and son and three of their boys. We continued to attend Chautauqua through last summer, our thirteenth time there. For the first time in quite a while, we will not be there this summer and never again together.
There are a variety of evening activities in which we participated as couples but were primarily for my enjoyment. These include the symphony concerts and meetings of our music club, and a small group of people with a special interest in the symphony who get together with the conductor during the week prior to each concert. We’ve given up all evening events except the music nights at Casa Bella. We are able to attend those because they begin at 6:00 and end before 8:30. Periodically, we are invited to something at night, and I decline. Both of us enjoyed attending movies, but Kate’s interest has all but disappeared.
The good thing is that we are out and about a good portion of every day. That consists largely of a portion of the morning at Panera, lunch, some time at Barnes & Noble or another visit to Panera, and dinner. The most positive aspect of this schedule is that we have a good bit of social interaction throughout the day. Even when we are not in conversation, Kate often sees children being children. She loves watching them. Thus, we have changed our routine a good bit since her diagnosis, but we are still able to be socially engaged, just in a different way than before. We still enjoy doing things together. That’s hard to beat right now, but I know the most difficult part is on the way. We are approaching it little by little.
