I have often commented on our normal daily routine and how it seems to have worked for us. The flip side of that is the potential problem that can come up when our routine is broken without having alternate activities to take up the slack. Today is one of those days. It is simply too cold. This morning it was about 29. This afternoon it is in the low-30s. That means that Kate has not been outside working in the yard. It is hard to overstate how important working outside is for her. She can do that much longer than working on her iPad. We both refer to it as her therapy. I clearly believe it is the only thing she does that doesn’t demand that she play by any rules. There are no time constraints. No one rushes her. No one tells her that she is doing things the wrong way. Possibly the most important thing is that she believes she is making a positive difference in the yard.
When she can’t work in the yard, that puts a little more pressure on me to entertain her. I addressed that this morning by building a fire in the fireplace in our family room. She and I both have always enjoyed a fire. She used her iPad to work puzzles, and I worked on my computer. I put on some soft music that she would enjoy. It was a very pleasant time. It provided a nice break between our visit to Panera and our lunch.
I wondered how things would go after lunch. Would she attempt to work outside despite the cold? Would she want to go back to Panera or to Barnes & Noble? Would she want to return home and enjoy another fire? My preference was to go home. Fortunately, that is exactly what she chose. After I got the fire going and music turned on, I made a quick trip to the grocery store. I am happy to say that she was still sitting in front of the firepace when I returned. Not only that, but she didn’t get tired of that until 3:00. That is an unusually long stretch for her to be entertained with her iPad.
At 3:00, she looked at me and asked, “What can I do?” I asked if she would like to get out of the house and go to Panera or to Barnes & Noble. She wanted to go to Panera. Before leaving the house, she said, “I could go to the restroom there (Panera).” I told her she could go at the house if she wanted. She said she would do that but didn’t. When we got to Panera, she went directly to the restroom.
When she returned, it was clear that she had been thinking about our past. She talked as though she and I had been talking about Madison where I had been a graduate student at the University of Wisconsin. Her first comment was to ask “the name of that man.” I had no idea who she was talking about. Then she said something about Madison, and I asked if she were talking about the English professor for whom she worked the first two years we were there. That turned out to be right. She talked about how brilliant he was and how approachable he was. She really enjoyed getting to know him. She said she thought Madison had changed her life. I told her I felt the same way. I got up to go to the restroom. When I returned, she said, “I want you to know that I never loved anybody but you.” Then she added something that surprised me. She said, “I admired Mr. Biederman, but I never loved him.” I was surprised because it had never crossed my mind that she might have loved him and wondered what made her think of that now – fifty years later.
We have been here (Panera) almost an hour and a half. She seems quite content, but I have to believe she is going to want a change pretty soon. I am feeling pretty good that we have almost filled a full day without any difficulty keeping her occupied. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. It is supposed to remain cold for the balance of the week.
