More Little Things

I continue to notice Kate’s checking with me to see if it is all right for her to do things that shouldn’t require my permission. Yesterday, we were leaving for dinner, and she asked if it were all right that she had left the drapery in our bedroom open slightly. She also asked about turning out the light in the laundry room and locking the door to the garage. Last night she put on her night gown, something she doesn’t always do without my prompting. This time she had also put on a top that she had worn all day yesterday. When she got close to the bed, she pointed to the bed and gave me the look that means she is asking a question. I told her it would be fine to get in bed, and she did.

My interpretation of these things is that she feels less and less sure that what she is doing is right. I also recognize my own OCD tendencies, and she definitely does. It appears that she is working harder to do everything the right way, but is also encountering problems at every turn. A moment ago, she asked me if I would refill her cup with iced tea. (We are at Panera.) When I brought it back, she was about to put the lid on upside down. Before she realized it, I told her. That irritated her because she had just realized that herself. Earlier this morning, I noticed that she had put her top on inside out. I mentioned that. She was glad that I did. When she took it off, it was all twisted. I started to help her. She didn’t want my help. In a minute, she called for me. She hadn’t been able to straighten it out. These kinds of things happen all the time. I know it must be discouraging to her. So being aware that she often makes mistakes and knowing that I am a bit particular, the safe way to adapt is probably to seek permission in advance. It seems to me, however, that the things for which she seeks permission are unnecessary. I wish I could help her overcome this feeling, but it is probably inevitable.