As a caregiver, I find myself trying to be attentive to changes in Kate’s behavior. It is often challenging to determine if the things I notice are a function of her AD or just part of the normal variation like all of us experience. Here are a few things I have noticed recently.
She is working outside for shorter periods of time than in the past. This could be related to the cooler weather although it is not as cool as other times when she has worked through very cold and very hot temperatures. It also could be related to the fact that she has pulled so many leaves off the shrubs that there isn’t much to pull. I have even heard her comment that she doesn’t have much but she wants to do a little bit.
She is also taking fewer showers. Part of this also results from the cooler weather. When she comes inside, she isn’t sweaty and in need of a shower in the way she is in the summer. On the other hand, she has been taking a shower in the morning and often another before we go out to eat. Now she is limiting that to just the morning, and sometimes she skips that. On a few occasions, she has come in from outside and said that she is going to take a shower and doesn’t.
She seems to be narrowing the choice of clothing she wears and frequently wears the same thing two days in a row and sometimes three days. I think this has developed because she has started undressing in our bedroom rather than in her room where she keeps all of her clothes. When she takes her clothes off, she throws them on the chair beside her bed or on the floor beside the bed. When she gets up in the morning, they are the first things she sees. She may just be taking the easy way out.
Along with these changes is something that I have mentioned a number of times over the past few weeks. She is significantly more cooperative. A good example of this occurred this morning when we returned from breakfast with a small group of people who work out at the Y.
She asked, “What can I do or not do now?” This occurred shortly after we decided to go to Panera. I said, “I thought we were going to Panera.” Then she said, “I could take just a little time to work outside.” I told her that would be fine. As she usually does, she expressed surprise that I was so agreeable to doing this. Then she said, “I’m going to use the clippers.” I reminded her that they were missing.
I went inside to take care of a few things while she worked outside. After 30-40 minutes I went outside to tell her that I was ready to go to Panera. That is when I saw that she was lying down in the flower bed pulling weeds. She was wearing a new coat that I had bought her about two weeks ago. I said, “Oh, you’re wearing your new coat.” She said, “It’s all right. I haven’t hurt it.” I started to respond to her but decided that wouldn’t help. In the past, this experience might have led to more irritation on her part. This time she simply got up and walked toward me. She asked, “Did I do something wrong?” I assured her that she hadn’t. We have a lot of moments like this. In the past she would have expressed stronger resentment of what she considers my pickiness. Maybe we are both learning how to handle things like this.
Are any or all of these things a sign of a more fundamental change? Does it relate to her AD? I still can’t answer these questions.
