Couldn’t Sleep

Kate and I got to bed early last night (8:45). I knew I would wake up early. I just didn’t know it would be 3:30. I tried to get back to sleep but my mind kept thinking about Kate’s condition and the problem of her clothes and getting ready to go places. It makes me think that next summer life will be different for us. Since her diagnosis January 21, 2011, I have wondered how much time we have left when we can live a reasonably normal life. I am now seeing signs of the beginning of the end. I must admit that it frightens me.

We went in the pool around 6:30 last night. As we talked, she mentioned wanting to go to Ireland. We discussed doing that in early June 2015. Reflecting on that now, I am not at all sure that will work. If we go with a group, we will face the problem of needing to meet daily schedules that are likely to cause more panic attacks for her. If we go on our own, we face the challenges of travel from one location to another as I don’t think we can find a single location that will let us take day trips to all the places we would want to see. Being realistic, of course, it would be another trip like New Zealand in that we would go without any intention of seeing or doing everything. We could just find a place and stay there. I will do my research and come up with something.

We have often talked about staying at Chautauqua for two weeks rather than just one. Next summer could be the time. I had better look into that soon in order to get the accommodations.

I finally got up at 4:30. I figured that I could accomplish something rather than just lying in bed. It is now 5:05; so it is not far different from a rather normal waking time for me. I will probably shave and eat breakfast and then go for a walk around 6:00. That will still give me time to read the paper before we go to church.