Trying to Live a Normal Life

Once again I don’t have a lot to report. I was out of town Tuesday through late Friday afternoon last week on a focus group project in Florida. I could note a couple of things. First, we are both settling into what I suspect will be a normal lifestyle. That means we are not driven by emotion surrounding Kate’s AD. However, we don’t forget it. I have continued to be patient in situations in which I would not have been patient before. I am amazed at how much actually knowing the reason for Kate’s behavior (rather than suspecting) has affected my reactions to her forgetfulness.

Another thing I noticed is that when I returned on Friday evening, she said she had missed me. That in itself is not unusual, but this time she went on to say that her missing me related to not having me there to help her through “my problems.” She is still working on a family album with her brother, Ben. That has introduced a variety of frustrations. Many of these are related to the problems working with computers. She can’t remember how to solve problems. She can’t remember where she has saved information. Yesterday she asked me to help her when she was trying to clean up the files she has for the album. She must have 20 or more different files she has used. The large number annoyed her, but she didn’t know how to delete them. I suggested she not delete them but put them in a new folder for “Old Files.” I helped her set that up, and she was fine.

I know she is also frustrated since she knows Ben wants to complete the album as fast as he can. I suspect she is working more slowly than usual since her AD prevents her brain from moving quickly. This has probably been a frustration to him, but she does not want to tell him about her diagnosis. We still have not told anyone and don’t intend to do so for quite some time.

Yesterday after Sunday school I talked with one of our members whose husband has AD. He seems to get along pretty well, but she tells me it is getting to be difficult for her to get him dressed and ready for SS each week. I asked her how long she had known he had AD. She said 5 years since his diagnosis but, perhaps, 10 years of suspicions. I wasn’t sure whether she meant an additional 10 years or 10 years including the diagnosis. I suspect the latter. I was interested, of course, since I can’t help but wonder how long we will be able to go without other people knowing.