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Confusion

Quite a few times I have mentioned Kate’s Deja vu experiences that are almost a daily occurrence. I believe I have also mentioned that she sometimes imagines I have said or done things, for example, thinking that I had told her we were going somewhere when I had not. Just before going to lunch she said something that makes me wonder if this is a pattern that will continue to escalate. This is not the kind of thing I was expecting. Here is what happened.

Several days ago, I went to the backyard where she was working in the flower bed against our wall. I didn’t see a panel of grill work from her parents’ home that we had put in the flower bed. When I said something about it, she didn’t know what happened. Then she said she remembered that, Ronnie, a woman who has helped her with her landscaping had taken it to be painted. I thought that seemed strange since to the best of my knowledge, the Ronnie doesn’t have anything to do with painting. Then today when I went out to the yard to tell her it was time for lunch, she told me she knew where the grill work was and took me to the spot where it had been standing. Whatever had been holding it upright had broken, and it was lying on the ground mostly covered up by leaves. Apparently it was completely covered the other day when I missed it. After she came in to take a shower and get ready for lunch, I was in the bedroom watching a football game when she called to me and said something like, “Richard, I need to tell you something. I guess you will find out soon enough.” I asked her to tell me about it. She told me that Ronnie had brought the grill work back and would set it back up in the flower bed. She seemed especially concerned that I might be upset about her not telling me. While we were at lunch I asked why she seemed upset about it. She told me it was because she was supposed to have told me before and hadn’t done it. I also asked what Ronnie was to have done with the grill work. She said, “I guess paint it.” I told her I didn’t think she had painted it because I could see that it still needed painting. She accepted that and appeared not to recognize any inconsistency between what she had told me before and now.

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From Panera

I woke up early this morning (4:55). Kate got up around 6:30. I walked and came back to the house. Around 8:30, I noted that she was still in bed. I asked her if she would like me to take her to Panera. She jumped on that immediately. She wasn’t really sleepy, just bored. She had been working jigsaw puzzles and got tired of that. The weather isn’t conducive to working in the yard.

When she got in the car, I looked at her jacket. It was one that I didn’t recognize. Then I gathered that it must belong to Libby, our housekeeper. She had come just a few minutes before our leaving. Kate quickly returned the jacket to the house. When she returned, she thanked me for noticing. She said, “You rescued me again.”

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Imagining Things

Last night as I was turning into Ruby Tuesday for dinner, I said to Kate, “Oh, I forgot to bring my $5 off coupon again.” She said with a bit of irritation, “Why don’t you keep it in the car.” Then she went on to say, “I’ve told you at least 3 times to do that. You don’t listen to me.” This led to a further exchange in which I said, “You don’t think I listen to you.” She said, “No, you don’t.” My point in bringing up this episode is that she has never suggested that I keep the coupon in the car. In fact, we have not really discussed this. The only prior mention occurred the last time we were here about 2 weeks ago when I also had forgotten the coupon.

Kate did not sleep well last night. At 2:30 this morning she mentioned that she couldn’t sleep. I know she was awake around 4:00 when I woke up again before falling asleep until 5:00. I think she was awake then. I got up at 6:00. She has rested a little since that time, but I really believe she lost a lot of sleep. I asked her a few minutes ago if she had been worried about something. She said she hadn’t and couldn’t figure out why she couldnt sleep.

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Diminished Observation

A number of times I have commented on the fact that Kate’s observation of things around her is impaired. She simply doesn’t notice things that are in front of her. This happens most often when there are a lot things in front of her. That makes it hard for her to see what it is she is looking for. I try to help by going to places around the house that I think from past experience are the likely places to find whatever she is looking for. Sometimes it works. Often it doesn’t.

Something more dramatic happened last week when we were returning from a meal at Chalupas, her favorite Mexican restaurant. As we were approached a stop light , I noticed flashing red lights. Because it was dark I couldn’t tell exactly what it was until I got to the intersection. Then I noticed that a firetruck was blocking the intersection. Someone was directing traffic to turn right toward town. As I turned, I noticed that two cars had collided. I made a comment. It turns out that Kate had not seen the firetruck or the accident scene itself. This is a case where multiple red lights were flashing, cars were backed up. I don’t know what could be more noticeable.

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Responding to Heat

Kate and I came over to Panera about 20 minutes ago. Since returning from Memphis on Wednesday night, we have not had heat or air conditioning in the house. The “motherboard” that controls the system went out. The company that services  our heat and cooling has ordered a new one, but it has not yet arrived. That leads me to explain how we happened to come to Panera this afternoon. We had been out at lunch, then to Belk’s to buy Kate new shoes and new socks for me, and then to Lowe’s for more plants before returning home.

When we got back home and unloaded the plants from the car, Kate remained outside for a while. I had noticed that it is warmer than usual in the house. Not really bad in terms of temperature, but feeling warmer without the air conditioning. When Kate came inside, she was hot. She found the inside intolerable. For quite some time, perhaps 3 years or so, she has been sensitive to heat and cold. In either situation, she wants it resolved quickly. She literally groans. If someone else were to hear her they would think she is in agony. I guess she really is in terms of her perception. Anyway, I suggested that we come over to Panera where we could sit in air conditioned comfort and get something to drink as well. She gladly accepted; so here we are.

We looked around for a good seat. I finally suggested the small booth we are in because it seemed to be out of the direct sun which neither of us likes. She concurred. Then I walked over to a store in the same shopping center to buy an HDMI cable to connect a new TV in her room to the cable box. When I got back and sat down with her, I said something about our sitting in a good place that was one of the cooler spots because we were not in the direct path of the sun. She said, “That’s why I chose it.” I just smiled. I didn’t remind her that it was I who had selected this table.

It is hard to depend on anything she says. This is just one example. While she was trying on shoes at Belk’s, she said she liked a particular shoe. A few minutes later, I showed it to her again. She said she didn’t like it. This kind of thing goes on all the time. She says she likes or dislikes something only to contradict herself sometimes only moments after expressing her original opinion. Like most things she does, it is a small, unimportant matter. I only mention it to document this particular habit.

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Imagining Ihings

During the past few days, it seems like Kate has been more bothered by being bored than in the past. For that reason I decided to come home from the office earlier today than I usually do so that she and I could do something together even if it involved just going to Panera’s. I got home at 10:33. Kate was working in the flower bed in the front of the house. I went to see her, and she was enjoying herself. I told her it was early and that I would just let her continue to work outside. Then I went inside and handled a few things. She finally came in about 12:15. We didn’t engage in any conversation. I felt there was no need to hurry as our only obligation was at 2:00 when she was getting her hair done followed by my getting a cut. At 1:00 she came into the kitchen and asked, “Is this all right?” I told her she was fine. She seemed greatly relieved. She was wearing something casual that she frequently wears. Since we were just going to eat and get a haircut, it really didn’t matter. I did look at her makeup and suggested that she smooth out the make up as it was heavily caked in spots as it often is. Although she wants me to check her makeup, she also believes I am too picky. She said something like, “Well, I’m not Queen Elizabeth. It doesn’t matter that much.”

Interrupted and finished 2015-09-19 (5:15 pm)

In the car she asked where we were going. I told her to Applebee’s for lunch and then to get our hair cut. She asked what time I had to be at my meeting. It turned out that she had been thinking she had to hurry to get ready because I had told her I had to go someplace. In fact, I had said nothing. She was mildly upset because she had rushed. While we were sitting at Applebee’s for lunch, she said, “For that you owe me a trip to Lowe’s.”

Today she had another experience in which she thought I had told her something. About an hour after we got back from lunch, she called to me from her office and said that she was going to try to take a nap. Another hour or so later, she came into the kitchen and said, “You were right.” I then guessed, “You couldn’t get to sleep?” She nodded her agreement. I didn’t tell her, but I had never said anything about her not being likely to get to sleep. She clearly thought we had. I have observed this kind of misunderstanding several other times. Will be looking to see if this is something that gets worse.

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Little Changes

In the past I have noted things like the Deja vu experiences that I haven’t normally considered symptoms of Alzheimer’s. I am noticing more recently. For example yesterday while at lunch, she asked me if I had paid her DAR dues. I told her I hadn’t and indicated that to the best of my knowledge she was not a member of DAR. She then went on to tell me that she had at least visited one of their meetings and was impressed with the women and how smart they are and how much they knew about South Carolina. That rang a bell with me. She was thinking about AAUW. She had attended a meeting of theirs about 6-8 months ago and told me the same story.

On the way home from dinner last night, she told me she wanted to show me where she had planted her plants. I assumed she was talking about the ones we had bought this afternoon. I didn’t think she had had enough time to plant them before dinner and hadn’t seen her go outside. In fact, she was still wearing the clothes she had worn to lunch. They didn’t bear any signs of her having worked in the yard. I said, “Do you mean the plants we just bought this afternoon?” She indicated yes. When I drove in the driveway, I could see all of the plants. They were left just where we had put them when we got home. I didn’t say anything. We got out of the car, and she walked me along the drive and out toward the front of the house. It didn’t appear that she could remember where she had put them but showed me plants that she had planted yesterday or the day before. I didn’t correct her.

Last night after dinner, we got in the pool. She seemed to get quite relaxed as she moved around. She began to talk more than she normally does. Most of the things she said involved the yard and what she was doing. At one point she pointed to the neighbors Legustrums. She told me that she had been pulling leaves off of them where they were hanging over their fence and near our wall. I can’t imagine that she had done so because of the height of the shrubs. She wouldn’t have been able to reach without a ladder. Then she told me that she was clearing out the space between the neighbor’s fence and our wall so that she could put plants there. This is a bizarre idea since no one would be able to see them at all. In fact, you can’t even get to the space unless you go to the end of our wall and walk through the 3-foot space between their fence and our wall. This kind of talk seems more like that of someone with a psychotic issue. As I am noticing and learning, I am thinking that the damage done to the brain by Alzheimer’s can cause a variety of symptoms in the same way as mental illness.

I continue to see short-term memories but cannot tell if it is any worse now than several weeks ago. On Saturday I took her to get a pedicure and manicure. When I picked her up, I paid, and gave her money to give the person as a tip. She hesitated and asked the receptionist if he could give the tip to the manicurist. As we were walking out to the car, she told me she did that because she couldn’t remember who had been the manicurist.

Another symptom that I have mentioned before is she fails to notice lots of things happening around her. This includes missing visual things as well as information in conversations. It is as though all stimuli are overwhelming. One small example occurred two times in as many days. The first occurred yesterday when I put on a new shirt that is quite colorful. She has never been one to notice many of the things I wear, but this shirt should have stood out. She never said a word. I wore another similar shirt in terms of brightness today. She hasn’t said anything. Another example comes from dinner last night. We split a pasta dish called seafood gorgonzola. It had shrimp, scallops, mushrooms, and bell peppers in a gorgonzola sauce. She got full before finishing her pasta. I noticed that she had not eaten all of the mushrooms and made a comment to that effect. It was on top center of the pasta, but she could not see it. To be sure it was not a large piece, but it was large enough that she would have seen it easily before Alzheimer’s.

Before finishing this entry, I feel the need to say that we are getting along well right now. I suspect that I am becoming more accustomed to her failing short-term memory. She is getting more childlike, but we get along well except for moments when she is irritated with me. That never lasts long. We are fortunate.

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Thursday

Today’s Kate went to her PEO chapter’s meeting. This was just a social and not a regular meeting. I had gotten an email reminding me of the meeting 3 weeks ago. Kate had also received an email (at least I assume so), but she had never mentioned it to me. In order to prevent her awareness that I am communicating with a couple of her PEO sisters about things like this, I simply mentioned this to her a week or so ago as though it were something that she might have told me. She never questioned how I knew. I reminded her yesterday that she would be going today. She asked me what time we were going but nothing else. I told her I was going to take her to our church where she would meet someone who would take her to the meeting. She showed no surprise that I knew this. When we arrived, she got out of the car while one of her sisters came over to speak with me about making arrangements to get her back home. I noticed that she didn’t say much to but gave me more attention as if to say that Kate doesn’t really understand, I’ll tell Richard. After they returned, Kate said that the people in the car are big talkers and that she had a hard time getting in to say anything. I suspect that what is happening is that people are beginning to treat her as though she doesn’t understand. In other words, they are treating her in the very way that Kate has been concerned about. That is why she hasn’t wanted people to know. Things like this make me feel for her.

When she got home, she seemed tired. She has been in the bed ever since. Some of that time she has been working jigsaw puzzles on her iPad, but she has also slept. That is what she is doing now. I am about to get her up to take her to dinner. I have a dinner at the convention center this evening in connection with my responsibilities at the foundation. I think the social activity of the day has worn her out, another sign of Alzheimer’s.

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Preparations for the Music Club Going Well

I think we are in good shape for the music club tomorrow night. We had someone put out all the mulch in all the flower beds. It looks much better now.  The weather has put a little damper on Kate’s work in the yard. I am glad of that except that it provides entertainment for her. In fact, she really needs it. Over the past few months (even this morning) I have heard her mention being bored. I feel like we are pretty active, but the truth is there still is a lot of time during the day when she could be doing something. Since the Alzheimer’s doesn’t enable her to do the things she used to do, filling this time is becoming something of a problem.

I did discover something that may help her. She gets tired and generally goes to bed as early as 8:30, sometimes earlier. I created a queue of old movies that I believe she would enjoy seeing, but she goes to sleep shortly after they start. What I have been doing is just showing the movie in segments over several nights. Even then, she isn’t really watching the movie. The most recent movie we watched is To Catch a Thief with Cary Grant and Grace Kelley, two stars she loves. One afternoon this week I asked her if she would like to watch the movie. She did, and we did. I think it was the first movie we have watched all the way through on a single showing. That filled up a good 90 minutes. If I could arrange for more movies, we would be in good shape, at least for a while. Of course, some of these would need to be streamed.

One other reason I feel we are in good shape for the music club is that Libby came yesterday and helped us clean up the patio and garage as well as some of the other places in the house that she might have missed when she was hear Tuesday or things we had messed up since then. I also moved the furniture so that we are ready for the folding chairs that are to be delivered tomorrow afternoon.

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Lunch Experience

Kate and I just got back from lunch. Here are a couple of examples of the kinds of behavior that I see as routine. While I ordered, she went to the drink machine to get a Dr. Pepper. It is a new type of dispenser that has about 30 different drinks. You press the appropriate logos to select the drink you want. Then you go to a different screen that permits you to dispense the drink into your cup. I saw that she was puzzled and that she had Dr. Pepper but no ice. She came back to the counter to ask where she could get ice. The person went to the machine with her and showed her how. It turns out that although it is a fancy high-tech machine, the ice is dispensed just the way it is in any other drink machine. The fact that the machine looked so different I am sure caused her not to recognize how to get her ice.

When the sandwich arrived, she put a large amount of mustard on it. When she ate it, her hands got messy. She needed a napkin but didn’t see that they were on the table on my side. When she uses a napkin she does so like a child without opening it up. She used 5 napkins, and I gave her the one I had used at the end.

When we got in the car, I noticed that she had mustard on her slacks. She said she would have to get it off as soon as we got home, but she went back to her yard rather quickly; so I don’t know if she cleaned the mustard off or not. We leave in 25 minutes for a movie. These are all little things and things that any one of us might do. The difference is that they happen so regularly.