It is only our first whole day at Chautauqua, but I lost Kate this afternoon about 20-30 minutes after we had been to a play. After the play, we walked by the St. Elmo. She wanted to go in a couple of shops that are on the lower level. I took a couple of photos outside. When I finished, I went downstairs to the shops. I saw her in a shop and waited outside the door to connect with her when she finished. When she didn’t come out in about 10 minutes, I went in to find her. She wasn’t there. I asked someone who works there if she had seen her. She didn’t remember her. I then learned that there is another entrance and exit to the shop. I looked through the other shops and had someone check the ladies room. No sign of her. I went outside thinking that she might be waiting there. Still no sign of her. I went back to the shop where I had been waiting and told the person I was going back to our apartment. She wasn’t there. That didn’t surprise me. I didn’t think she would even remember the name. I went back to St. Elmo. She was nowhere to be found. I waited outside looking in all directions. Then I got a phone call. It was Kate. She had borrowed someone’s phone to call me. She told me where she was. I told her to wait right there. She had gone in a direction completely away from the St. Elmo as well as our apartment. She said she felt foolish. She hadn’t remembered the name of the place we are staying. I have now given her one of my business cards with the name and address of our apartment.
Everyday Examples
Last night we went to a symphony concert. I made dinner reservations. She decided to take a nap before going out. Knowing that getting ready, especially getting ready on time can be stressful for both of us, I told her we would leave in an hour and twenty minutes. When we had about 35 minutes before leaving, I told her it was time to get ready. She got up willingly and right away, something she hasn’t always done in the past. I mentioned that because of the cold, she might want to wear one of her new turtleneck sweaters, none of which she has yet worn. Two of them were purchased in early fall, the third we bought this past week. She was immediately offended by my suggestion. She reacted abruptly and asked me to “just leave me alone.” I did so. When we were 5 minutes away from departure time, she came into the family room fully dressed and asked me, “Is this too casual for tonight?” It was too casual and is something she wears quite regularly. The cut itself, not long sleeve and a large opening at the neck, was not right for a cold night. I suggested she try one of the turtlenecks. She then went into a panic from which she did not fully recover until we were on the way to the concert after dinner.
At the restaurant, we bumped into the pastor at our local Unitarian church as we walked in. He was with a friend, and we chatted with them a few minutes before sitting down at our table. You would have never thought there was anything wrong. Once we were seated, however, her posture and the expression on her face clearly indicated she was trying to calm herself down from her panic. She didn’t talk except in response to my questions, and I tried not to talk too much because she was not in a talking mood. (I might add that I have created a playlist of soft relaxing music on my iPhone. I played this from home to the restaurant and from the restaurant to the concert and then back home. It is a mixture of classical (mostly) and popular music. I put this together just for these situations and use it fairly frequently; so frequently that I periodically move the order of the pieces so that it does not seem so repetitious as well as making sure songs nearer the end of the playlist actually get played.)
When I drove into the line for valet parking, she said she wanted to get out and go inside because it was so cold. We usually get out of the car together. This time I said, “OK. I’ll meet you inside” and paid the valet. Then I went inside to meet her. I went in the main entrance where we usually enter. I didn’t see her. I saw quite a few other people that I know and asked if they had seen Kate. No one had. Then I started walking around the lobby area and even went upstairs where we would enter to reach our seats. I still didn’t find her. When the lobby cleared out, it was easier to see who was left. It was clear she wasn’t on the side where we usually enter. I walked to a desk on the other side where I saw someone I know and asked if she had seen Kate. She had not. Then I looked a little beyond her and saw Kate waiting on the other side of the lobby. I don’t know exactly why she was in that spot, but I do know she does not remember locations very well. I suspect she got out of the car and went into the hall through another entrance. This would have required a further walk since I was letting her out near the main entrance, but she could easily have forgotten about that entrance. Interestingly, she was not in a panic although she was a little irritated that I had taken so long. I didn’t even ask how she happened to be there. I have learned that she does not like to discuss such things. I believe it is because it is hard for her to remember how something like this occurred. She can’t explain it. Anyway all turned out well. The concert was not an exciting one for her. It was clear by looking at her that she was ready to go home before the first note was played, but she never said a thing.
Lost While Traveling
Kate and I are in New York City with our granddaughter, Heather. We are having a great time, but I am finding it challenging to keep up with Kate. I’ve had several scares on the trip.
The first one occurred in the Charlotte airport. Our gate was on a small concourse (12-14 gates). Kate wanted to walk while we waited for plane. Heather and I stayed behind. In about 15-20 minutes, the gate attendant announced that we would start boarding in 10 minutes. We couldn’t see Kate. anywhere. Twice I walked the entire concourse. Then I went to the central terminal and didn’t see her. I returned to the gate to see about paging her. They would only page outside. Finally, she came strolling toward our gate. She had simply walked to someplace outside our concourse and had no sense of time. She said she never felt lost.
The next time was a minor incident at the Empire State Building. Heather and I were on the down escalator when I looked back to see Kate was not with us. I ran up the escalator and found her. She had not seen us get on. She was having the same emotional reaction as we were. Fortunately, this was just a moment.
The last incident as we neared the end of a tour of Rockefeller Center. We lost her when the group went inside, and she didn’t follow. The big problem was that we didn’t miss her for another 15 minutes when the tour ended. I received a telephone call from a Missouri number. The tour was just ending, and I didn’t answer because I thought it was a wrong number. Then I saw that I had a message and called the number. It was Kate. She had borrowed a phone and said that she was at the statue of Prometheus. She had been helped by an employee. I tried to keep my cool but was in quite a panic. The good thing is that she can still remember my phone number and didn’t hesitate to ask someone about using his phone.
In Chicago With Brian
We are having a grand time in Chicago with Brian. Today begins our third day, and we have been busy. Here are a few observations about Kate.
She has enjoyed herself. I have been trying to see that she doesn’t get out of my sight for fear of losing her. Yesterday I slipped when we got off the train in front of our hotel. I led Brian and Kate across the street. I looked back and saw Brian and assumed incorrectly that Kate was right behind. When we got in the hotel lobby, I looked around and she was not with us. I rushed back outside and she was waiting on the street corner where we had gotten off the train. I later asked if she realized she was across the street from the hotel, she said no.
A couple of other things are both sad and cute. When we were walking to Tommy Gun’s Garage Friday night, we passed the Sommerset Hotel. It had a plaque that indicated it was built in 1889. I pointed this out to Brian and Kate. The next day we walked past the same spot. Kate noticed it and pointed it out to Brian and me. I didn’t say anything about having shown this to her the day before.
Lost and Found
After the morning lecture yesterday, Kate was hungry. I got her a melon tart to tide her over until we got to lunch. I took her to a bench outside The Amp and told her to sit there while I took our cushions back to the room. When I returned, she was gone. I looked all over. When I saw Ellen and Ann, I told them to go to Hurlbut Church, and we would meet them. Ellen called to say that Kate was at the church already. I was relieved, but the frightening thing is that she had forgotten in the short time that I was coming back for her. When I reached her at the church, I didn’t say anything.
Today she left the Hall of Christ where we were going to watch Bishop Spong on a closed circuit TV presentation. She got up to use the restroom and never came back. An hour and a half later, she arrived on the front porch of our hotel. I had been looking all over for her during an hour of that time. So had Ellen and Ann. When I reached her on the porch, I said that she must have been walking around the grounds. She said, “You know me and directions.”
