It’s been nine weeks since Kate and I experienced the first signs of COVID and almost eight weeks since she returned home from the hospital. Kate’s recovery has been gradual, but steady. The biggest breakthrough was getting her out of bed. In my last post, I reported that we had been able to get her up three days in a row. We added another three days to make it a total of six straight days.
Things are going well. Kate’s transfer from her bed to the wheelchair to the toilet and back to the wheelchair is easier than before. With one exception, she has enjoyed spending the day in her recliner in the family room.
We haven’t, however, been able to fully conquer her fear as we make the transfers. She is also frightened when we push her in the wheelchair. We have to move very slowly and watch her hands and arms closely as we go through doorways or past anything that she can grab. She holds tightly to anything within her reach. She also attempts to stop the chair’s movement with her feet. I’ve found it easier if we slowly pull her backwards.
Despite our best efforts, the only rewarding aspect for Kate is relaxing in her recliner. It does avoid changing her in bed, but the transfers are almost as unpleasant for her. That has caused me to think seriously about the cost/benefit ratio of forcing her to get out of bed. It is better for her caregivers and me, but is it a sufficient benefit to her?
On her 80th birthday, I really wanted her up. She wasn’t as cheerful as on other mornings and not eager to get out of bed. With my permission, the physical therapist and the caregiver got her up anyway. As it turned out, she didn’t appear to enjoy the afternoon as much as she has on previous days.
The next day the physical therapist came again. Kate was tired. We put our heads together and decided to be satisfied with the success we had achieved in the preceding days. We let her rest.
Saturday and Sunday we got her up again. It went pretty well Saturday. Sunday was another thing. She really didn’t want to get up, but we went ahead. She was angry with both of us, not just the caregiver. I left for lunch shortly after we had put her in the recliner. She wasn’t speaking to either of us. It is not unusual for her to need as much as an hour or more to recover from changing or just getting her out of bed, but her bitterness seemed more severe this time. Fortunately, she had recovered by the time I returned home, and we had our usual good evening together.
I felt bad about pushing her too hard and would like to avoid creating the same result again. I discussed this with the caregiver who was here yesterday. We decided to give her a break and get her up only if she seemed willing. As she has done on a few other occasions, she expressed an interest at one point but changed her mind when it came down to doing it. We accepted that. She had a good day and was much easier to change in bed. I think it was good for her to have a break. She’s making progress. We’ll get her up another day.