I know there is no end to the challenges that Kate and I experience. “Living with Alzheimer’s” isn’t something that gets easier along the way. I do wonder what will remain in my “caregiver’s toolbox” in the months ahead. My guided tours of our house with a focus on pictures of her parents and grandparents and other items from her parents’ home are no longer as effective as they were only a couple of months ago. I also find that I need to come up with new commentary related to the various family photo books in order to engage her attention.
Then there’s The Velveteen Rabbit. That something I haven’t relied on too heavily though it has come to the rescue 4-5 times over the past few days. She never gives any indication she has heard it before, but that’s true for other things that no longer have the same appeal. At the rate I am using it, I should soon find out how long it works. In the meantime, I’ll continue to pull it out when I feel the need.
That shouldn’t be long. Kate’s changes come about surprisingly quickly. One minute all is well, and the next she is disturbed about something. That happened two nights ago. The day had gone well and we had a nice takeout dinner. Then she was ready to go (home). We jumped in the car and drove for thirty minutes before getting home again. As usual, we went directly to the bathroom to brush teeth. That’s the first step in our nightly routine. She was in a good humor and brushing teeth was no problem. The next step is to take her nightly meds. That, too, went smoothly.
The final step is getting her out of her clothes and into her night clothes. That’s where I ran into a problem. It is pretty common for her to ask why she has to take off her clothes, but this time she simply got in bed with her clothes on. Not anticipating a problem, I told her I wanted to get her night clothes on before I took my shower. She said, “I’ll do it later.” I knew that wouldn’t happen. In the first place, she wouldn’t know where to get what she needs or how to handle the nighttime underwear. I encouraged her to let me help her change for the night. She didn’t want any part of it. I saw immediately that it was going to be a losing cause. I backed away and told her I would take my shower. Each of us was annoyed by the other.
When I finished my shower, and as though I were going after my weapon for battle, I got The Velveteen Rabbit once again. When I got back, I said, “I thought it might be nice if we read a bedtime story.” Then I proceeded to read the book just as though we had never had the earlier clash. Like the past few readings, she didn’t show any sign of interest or approval when I started. By the end, however, she was a different person. At least for the time being, the Rabbit still works.
We talked a few moments about how much we both like the book. Then I said, “Well, it looks like it’s time for bed. I’ll be glad to help you change into your night clothes.” That was all it took (and, of course, TVR). It took no more than five minutes to get her changed and back in bed. Best of all, we were both in a good mood. That’s always a nice way to end the day.
