The past couple of days have been similar to a few other days this past week. Once again, Kate was up early. Shortly after getting to the bathroom, she said, “Who are you?” I gave her my name and told her I was her husband. She said firmly, “No.” I said, “I’m a friend, and I can help you with anything you need. She didn’t ask again until we were on the way to Panera around 9:00 when she asked, “Why am I with you?” I said, “Well, you’re my wife.” She gave me a look of astonishment and said, “What’s a wife?” I explained, but she was not ready to accept that we are married. I said, “Let’s say we’re very good friends.” That usually works, but it didn’t this time. She didn’t want to hear that either. At Panera, the subject came up again with the same reception. Except for her reaction each time I told her we were married, she acted very normally with me. Nothing would have suggested that we weren’t husband and wife.
At lunch, I said, “I think I might make you my girlfriend for life.” She was insistent that would not happen and told me not to say anything more. I didn’t until we were on the way home from dinner when she said, “Why am I with you?” as she had done that morning. I gave her a similar response and she did the same. I didn’t say anything more until she was in bed. I sat down on the bed beside her. She smiled at me, and I said, “I love you. Do you know how long we have been married?” She smiled again and said, “How long?” That was the first sign of recognition the entire day.
Kate started the day even earlier this morning. She was awake at 6:20 when I got up. I asked if she wanted to got to the bathroom. She said, “Not right now.” I told her I would be in the bathroom and to call me if she needed me. I had just gotten to the bathroom when she called.
She used the toilet and then asked, “What now?” She pointed to the shower. I hesitated a moment because it was so early. I knew she would want to go back to bed. Sometimes, however, she doesn’t want to shower. I quickly decided this was an opportunity I didn’t want to pass up. I told her I would get the shower ready for her. Before getting in, she asked, “Who are you?” When I told her my name and that I am her husband, she didn’t believe it. I told her we were friends. That worked.
After her shower, she wanted to lie down again. I turned on an album of cello adagios at a soft volume. I dressed and told her I would be in the kitchen and to call me if she needed anything. I asked if she wanted me to turn off the music. She said, “Oh, no. Please leave it on.” It was one of a number of reminders in the past few days of how much she enjoys music. It is now 8:30.
BREAK
It is now 10:15. Right after my earlier entry, I heard her say something. I went to the bedroom. She hadn’t called me. We spoke for a few minutes. She surprised me when she wanted to know who I was. I gave her my name and told her I was a friend and that I could help her with anything she needed. She didn’t show any signs of wanting to get up, but it also didn’t look like she was ready to go to sleep. I asked if she wanted to get up. She said she did but needed some clothes. I told her I would get them. She was surprised that I would know where to find them. I told her I knew a lot about her and that I knew her parents. She asked their names. Then she asked my name. I said, “Kate.” She recognized her name and asked for her full name. I said, “Kate Franklin” (her maiden name). I got her dressed without a problem. Even if she didn’t remember that we are married, she clearly trusts me.
The first real spark of life came when she reached the family room. She noticed all the usual things, the room, the flowers, the flowers on the patio, the back yard, and the photos. We spent about fifteen minutes just looking around as she enjoyed what she was seeing. When we started for the kitchen where I had laid out her morning meds, she said, “Don’t you hate to leave this place?” I explained that it was ours and that we would be coming back after getting her a muffin. She was surprised and happy.
We are now at Panera. She stopped working her puzzles and is finishing up her muffin. That means we will probably head back to the house shortly. We won’t be there long before going to lunch. She is happy. I am happy. I am optimistic about the rest of the day.
