It seems like each day is a little different now. Kate is much more emotional, dependent, and confused. The combination is making a difference in how much time I devote to tending to her needs. This morning was a good example.
After I was dressed and about to begin my daily morning routine, she wanted to go to the bathroom. I took her and got her back in bed. She seemed especially needy and held my hand going and coming. Several times she thanked me for helping her. As usual, she was confused about where she was. I explained that we were at home, but it didn’t sink in until she looked out the window at the back yard.
Once she was in bed, I told her I would be in the kitchen if she needed me. She didn’t want me to leave her. I asked if she would like me to get my laptop and sit in the chair beside the bed. She was relieved that I would do that. This is the time of morning that I get my breakfast, check the news, get in a little exercise by walking around the house listening to a book, and then tending to my blog. It’s not great problem to make the change in plans, but it is a good example of what is occurring more often than in the past.
Yesterday morning was a different kind of experience. I let her sleep until 11:00. Then I got her up to be ready for the sitter who was taking her to lunch at noon. As we were leaving the bathroom to get dressed, she got a sad look on her face and said, “Just think of all the people who have to go through all this (not sure what this meant) and don’t have all the things we have.” It is not unusual for her to express her feelings about people who are less fortunate than we are, but this was a much stronger expression of those same feelings. She began to cry. I tried to comfort her as I helped her get dressed. Then as we walked to the family room, I saw one of her family photo books and decided to divert her attention to it.
That worked well. She then focused on her family. The tears, however, didn’t stop, but they were now tears of joy. The sitter’s arrival distracted her again. The tears stopped. I told her I would be going to Rotary. She didn’t want me to leave. When I told her that Cindy would take her to lunch and that I would be back later, she was fine.
Kate has continues to pull her hair whenever she lies down. She often talks to me about how much she is accomplishing by doing this. For the first time, she explained that she was “getting all the thingies out.” I asked if she thought they were alive. She said, “I guess.” This is similar to her feeling that she has “bugs” in her teeth and on her body, especially between her toes.
As I have said before, life is different now.
