Kate surprised me yesterday when she got up early again. I reached her as she sat on the side of the bed. I asked if she was getting up. She said, “I don’t know.” We chatted briefly, and then I asked if she would like to get up. Again, she didn’t know. She said, “What do you think I should do?” I told her I thought it would be good for her to get up and take a shower. She asked where the bathroom was. I told her I would show her.
On the way she asked, “Who are you?” I told her I was Richard and could help her with anything she needed. She said, “You really seem to know your way around.” I turned on the shower and showed her the soap. As she got in the shower, she asked who I was. I said, “I am Richard, and I am your helper.” She asked what I did before becoming her helper. I told her I was retired. She said, “From what?” I told her I had been in the market research business. She said, “What’s that?” I explained briefly. As I closed the shower door, she thanked me. It didn’t sound the way she would have said it if she realized I was her husband. It was more like what you would expect if she thought I was a friend or hired helper. After her shower, she walked a few steps to the bedroom. I told her I would get an extra towel and help dry her. She said, “You really know everything.”
It wasn’t long before she wanted to lie down again. I started to leave for the kitchen. She said, “Why don’t you stay right here?” I said, “Would you feel better if I stayed with you?” She said she would, and I brought my laptop back to the bedroom. About thirty minutes later, she wanted to get up.
Once she was dressed, she wanted her shoes and socks. I picked them up from the floor near her feet. She said, “You think of everything.” Then she asked where I live. I said, “I live right here with you.”
Gradually she is failing to recognize me as her husband. I haven’t reached the stage of never telling her, but I am gradually changing with her. My obvious role is that of helper. I don’t think that’s a bad way for her to think of me.
