I notice lots of little things that suggest Kate’s brain is undergoing more significant changes. If they were isolated things, I wouldn’t think much about it. It’s the accumulation of so many in a relatively short period of time that strikes me most. Consider the following things that have occurred over the past few days.
On the way home from dinner a few nights ago, she said, “My house or yours?” I said, “Yours.” I didn’t explore this any further, but this was something new. She often doesn’t recognize I am her husband or recognize our house, but I’ve never heard her refer to her house or mine. What was she thinking that prompted this? I don’t know. That’s true for many of the things she says or does.
Walking to the car after dinner last night, she said, “I wouldn’t want to have their job.” I asked who she was talking about. She said, “You know those people with the ‘stuffies.’” She knew that wasn’t the right word but couldn’t think of the word she wanted. She counts on me to know what she means. As usual, I just indicated I understood and agreed with her.
She was up early yesterday. I think she must have had a dream because she was worried about having to be some place. I assured her that she didn’t have any obligations and could go back to bed.
While she was resting on the sofa that afternoon, she said, “Do I have to go some place? A meeting or something?” She seemed quite concerned. I told her she didn’t have anything on her schedule. A few minutes later, she opened her eyes and pointed in the direction of the door to the kitchen and asked, “What’s in there?” I mentioned several things. They were not what she meant and seemed frustrated that I didn’t immediately recognize what she was talking about. I told her the kitchen was on the other side of the doorway and the laundry room to the right of that. Nothing I said gave her the answer she wanted, and she gave up asking.
She has also been talking in her sleep more than usual. She doesn’t say much. Often it is like a simple statement or answer to a question that someone in her dream has asked.
Her intuitive abilities seem to be in overdrive sometimes, but that is a good thing. It usually means she is deriving pleasure from things around her– flowers, plants, and trees in particular. Some of her aesthetic interests are a little strange, but they, too, provide pleasure. She takes greater interest in tidiness and the arrangements of things than in the past. She is often careful about the way she places her flatware, glass and napkin on the table at restaurants. Yesterday as we walked through the laundry room to the garage, she noticed a washcloth I had put out to dry. She liked the way it looked. A few weeks ago, she asked me to take a picture of the cloth napkin she had used at a restaurant. She had just dropped it on the table and thought it looked a little like a sculpture. Although I wouldn’t have thought about it until she said so, I agreed with her and took the photo. At her request, I take more pictures these days.
For years, she has not wanted to stay anyplace, including home, for more than a couple of hours. That was a main reason we started going to the café at Barnes & Noble in the afternoon. Now we usually chooses to stay at home most afternoons. On the other hand, sometimes in the morning she says, “Let’s get out of here.” I assume that is a time when she thinks we are staying at some other place than our home.
I believe the primary reason for wanting to spend more time at home relates to her resting more. She seems more tired these days. I notice, however, that it is not necessarily sleep that she needs. Yesterday, for example, she rested two hours or more with her eyes open and running her fingers through her hair. She often spends almost that amount of time doing the same thing after going to bed at night.
Something of greater significance to me is that she seems to be using her iPad somewhat less than in the past. I believe that relates directly to her feeling tired and frustrated with the difficulty she has working her puzzles. I attribute both being tired and frustrated to the changes going on in her brain. At the same time, she may be spending more time with her family photo books. She is occasionally confused when her photo books don’t work the same way as the puzzles on her iPad. She touches a photo and expects it to scatter into puzzle pieces. When it doesn’t, she doesn’t know what to do.
Despite these changes, Kate and I had a nice day yesterday. We didn’t do a lot, but we enjoyed our time together.
